WWE Raw, Mobile, AL
A request! This match is preceded by a dogshit “Mr. McMahon” promo backstage where he’s mean to his son, Hornswoggle, and he takes forever to dance his way around getting to the point, which was a thing he kept doing more and more as he got older, just talking to hear himself talk.
Basically, Hornswoggle has a Royal Rumble spot, but he has no Rumble experience, so Vince sets him up with some in this “mini Royal Rumble,” where he promises that Mr. Kennedy, Mankind, Batista, and “a surprise or two” will be his opposition.
(Requests open and tips always appreciated!)
Hornswoggle McMahon out first, of course. The arena is filled with smoke thanks to some JBL firecrackers or whatever. Second is Mr. Kennedy, but get this, it’s a SMALL Mr. Kennedy! Lilian chuckles when announcing him, so that you know it’s funny, and Lawler is just tickled. They drop the mic, but he can’t reach it! Because of short.
Third in is Mini Mankind. It’s not a particularly good outfit and the crowd has already fully decided they do not care about this. Mini Mankind doesn’t last long, and then Mini Mr. Kennedy is out, too.
That leaves Hornswoggle alone for Mini Batista. He does the whole bit. Next in is Mini Kane. Mini Batista does a Batista bomb to Mini Kane, then Hornswoggle eliminates Mini Batista. Mini Kane throwing lots of uppercuts. Mini Kane gets eliminated.
And then next is Khali’s music. Lawler can’t wait to see THIS short person! But it’s the actual Great Khali. Mini Batista takes his one chance and jumps Hornswoggle from behind for fun, so he can stand in the ring and then run away from Khali.
But when Khali gets in the ring, Finlay hits the scene with the shillelagh and beats some ass. Ranjin Singh gets clobbered, too. Khali runs away so technically Hornswoggle wins.
Nobody was any good at wrestling and the crowd didn’t really care at all but the lads tried a little and ultimately, most importantly, it made a criminal pervert and his pervert avatar on commentary laugh and guffaw, so.
Tape Machines Are Rolling 