Bryan Danielson vs Kenny Omega (PWG, 4-12-2009)

PWG One Hundred, Reseda, CA

Figure now’s a good time to watch this match I’ve never seen. I mean, neither of these guys are who they were 12 years ago, but it seems pretty likely we’ll be seeing this match in the next six months or so, depending on how slow a burn AEW want to go with in building to the match everyone wants to see. As of right now, this is the only singles match Danielson and Omega have ever had.

It’s wild that when Omega and Danielson have their next (second) singles match ever, there’s a very high chance Excalibur will have been on the call for both of them, 12 or 13 years apart.

Danielson offers a handshake at the start, so Omega does his dorky overacting and spits into his hand to extend his own, with Chris Hero on commentary saying, “I don’t know what that means. Is that an anime thing?” Danielson repays that by stomping Omega’s elbow and mocking him with an “anime pose.”

“I think if Bryan Danielson hates anyone, he hates Kenny Omega,” Excalibur says. Not because they have a wrestling feud. Just because Omega is a huge fucking dipshit nerd. After another attack on the left arm, Omega pulls his knee pad off and doubles it over his left elbow pad. And it works, because the next armbreaker over the shoulder doesn’t damage Omega, nor the next, but then Danielson just takes him down and stays on it.

Omega tries his video game agility offense and Danielson sprawls on a takedown attempt, but Omega’s speed and athleticism does help him avoid any further offense from Danielson, frustrating him just by escaping attempts to be wrangled, then hitting a Jushin Thunder Liger pose, and boy, these two are really summing up exactly who they were in 2009, and exactly why Danielson would, in fact, just fundamentally dislike Kenny Omega.

Danielson gets the arm again and removes that knee pad extra protection for another stomp to the elbow. Danielson tosses the knee pad back to put on again, but Omega makes it a distraction and gets his first offense in. Beautiful deep armdrag from Omega, and now they’re picking up the pace, just running the ropes, moving around more, and Danielson takes him down into a Romero Special, punching Kenny in the ear first.

Then they lie stomach-down (or ass up if you NASTY) on the mat to arm wrestle because you cannot forget that ultimately, this is California horseshit. Yeah, now thumb wrestling. Danielson wins the arm wrestling, Omega the thumb wrestling. So they’re 1-1 and Danielson calls for a test of strength. Blah blah.

Then they get done with the yuk-yuk nonsense and do their athletic wrestling, which is the PWG appeal to most people, I think. You can just smoothly translate from cornball garbage into extremely good wrestling like it’s nothing. This doesn’t hit for me, but I have spent almost 40 years dealing with winters, so I just cannot get on that surf’s up California vibe.

Then they trade some slaps and it’s back to the garbage as Omega takes the mic and “challenges Danielson to a duel,” which he says is “the spot that never ends.” And he keeps digging into the reference in case I don’t get it. It’s a criss-cross deal and Omega bows out of it early because he gets winded, so then he keeps talking. It’s so funny, I mean so funny, and it results in a “John Jacob Jingleheimer-Schmidt” bit and some square dancing before they get back to the wrestling.

But not too much of it! Folks, we are not done laughing. Lolling our brains off!

OK, now we’re doing wrestling again. Danielson dropkicks Omega in the gut when Kenny flies off the top rope, then hits a tope suicida and goes right back in with a flying shotgun dropkick and a running kick to the chest. Hey it’s a hadouken from Omega but that leads to a dragon suplex so right there back-to-back, there it is: California wrestling.

An avalanche Croyt’s Wrath is countered by an Everest German suplex, and now it’s time to kick fucking heads in. And then it’s over when Danielson grabs a triangle and Omega taps out.

Anyway fuck this match, and I hope they do an exact replica in their first AEW pay-per-view main event to leave a larger audience deeply confused and upset.

Rating: 2/5