Today is WrestleMania. Well, tonight is the first part of the 40th WrestleMania, which now comes in two parts, because there is no greater master than money, and they can sell out two nights in a stadium with ease, or come so close that it doesn’t matter they didn’t; the point is these things make a lot of money for a company that could, just once, sacrifice bonus money for something special, but obviously they will not.
I don’t watch wrestling much anymore. This will change sometime, in one way or another; I have increasing doubts I will ever follow current wrestling the way I have in the past, though I did watch ACTION’s DEAN~!!! show on Thursday and the Ring of Honor show on Friday, and enjoyed both other than simply not having the desire to spend four hours watching wrestling shows anymore. It’s actually not that I have a lot else to be doing, but I do have other things I could do.
I’m sure I’ll always keep tabs on some of The Big Promotions (WWE and AEW, New Japan and TNA and GCW to lesser extents), and there will probably be some period of mental anguish or whatever that I key in on eating 15 hours a week with wrestling TV as a way to absorb time, but it won’t last.
I’m certain, at some point, I’ll dig into old wrestling again. And that is what I’ll do today. I don’t have a terrible urge to watch anything ahead of this evening’s attempt to watch WrestleMania XL, but I do have a slight itch.
So what we’ll do here is watch some match that I haven’t already watched for this weblog from each of the first 10 WrestleManias, with the exception of WrestleMania IV, from which I have reviewed every match on this site, and I simply have no desire to go back over any of them. I was even thinking of doing the first 20 WrestleManias, a halfway mark in event history, but then I got to 11, which I just watched a couple years ago in full, and I have no desire to go back over any of it. Settle on 10 then. A quarter. The foundation of what WrestleMania would become, back when it was an event completely different from what it is today, yet exactly the same, too, during its biggest years. All that changes is wrestling style and fashion and production technique, really.
Let’s also be clear, these several paragraphs in, that I am not going to be picking any Epic Encounters. First off there just weren’t that many in the first 10 Manias, and those that there were, I have reviewed here. So this is just a grab bag of junk; think of it like a budget line Coliseum compilation curated by me. Sean Mooney will tell you these were action-packed matches from the greatest spectacle in sports-entertainment, and you will ACCEPT IT!
WrestleMania I
Ricky Steamboat vs Matt Borne
We’re still in the “buying out the territory stars” days, Borne a star from Portland especially and Steamboat pretty fresh in from Mid-Atlantic. Two fantastic wrestlers getting a chance to learn that being good at wrestling is not going to be particularly important in their new digs, but they will have a chance to make good money, and they know what way the winds are blowing.
Monsoon talks about Steamboat teaming with Jimmy Snuka as “The South Pacific Connection,” which didn’t last too long. Steamboat was billed from Hawaii at this point, which is about as accurate as Lex Luger being from Chicago. Some good basic wrestling stuff early trying to get an advantage, then Borne takes over with roughhousing for a moment and Steamer comes back with “karate.” Wrestling used to be very simple, and I’m just always going to prefer it that way.
A guy shouts “boring” because these two don’t have much cred in the New York territory just yet. Nice belly-to-belly from Borne, then a vertical suplay. More “karate.” Big ol’ right hand. Steamboat trying to get the crowd fired up but they’re just not here to see these dudes, as hard as they’re working and as good as they both are. Steamboat wins with a flying crossbody, which does get some reaction. It’s a solid bit of work to fill time. 2.5/5
WrestleMania 2
Randy Savage vs George “The Animal” Steele
Savage defending his Intercontinental title. This is Susan Saint James’ most anticipated match. The triple location gimmick for Mania 2 just did not work, but it was the sort of ambition that was worth the gamble at the time, and also kind of one-upped Starrcade ’85 coming from two locations.
Steele is a big favorite in New York at this point, just about to turn 49 years old, which isn’t really that old for a star wrestler these days. Savage repeatedly runs away from engaging with the Animal, who finally gives chase but is also much slower than Macho, so it takes him a moment to catch him and bite him on the calf. “Alright, George! Eat his leg!” Susan Saint James is a pervert.
In close quarters, Steele has the chance to overpower and brawl, but he’s too easily distracted by his concern for Elizabeth standing around outside, which gives Savage a chance to get space and use his speed and ability to fly. Saint James, like Art Donovan, has gotten too much stick over the years. Both far more listenable than Pat McAfee.
This match stinks in terms of having wrestling moves and what have you, but it works pretty well to do what they’re doing, five minutes of this very simple story that can easily get a rise from the crowd. The Animal can’t stop turning his attention to Elizabeth, which ruins his chances to actually win here and claim second-tier WWF gold. One self-imposed distraction leads to Savage’s flying elbow landing, but it only gets two. My God, they’ve buried Savage’s finish. He’d never be able to use it again, as we know. It no longer had credibility. Savage instead wins with his feet on the ropes after a little leg sweep. 2.5/5
WrestleMania III
Junkyard Dog vs Harley Race
Bob Uecker wants to fuck the Fabulous Moolah, who is in King Harley’s corner with Bobby Heenan. The loser must kneel! On paper, two of the biggest “gets” of the territory killing expansion effort, with Dog a huge draw in Mid-South and Race, of course, a however-many time NWA world champion. But Race is pretty cooked here and just went to make his money, which is his business, and ultimately very smart, no matter what else you think. He saw the writing on the wall, the NWA was going to collapse against McMahon’s focused, single-entity, big-money approach, and he was done pouring money into keeping St. Louis in the fight against Vince Jr. He was also not going to be NWA champ again, his time had come and gone.
And it’s not the worst spot he got in the WWF, it’s no career highlight for him, but he got a featured undercard heel role, with enough to it to have the occasional big match. And there’s some heat on this match. JYD was as popular as anyone who wasn’t Hogan for a while there, I’ve previously wondered if, say, Hogan had gotten hurt, something that would have kept him out a year or so, would JYD have gotten a run on top, either as the champ or eating some months as the challenger for a rare heel champ that lasted more than a few days or weeks in the WWF of the time?
This is exactly the match you expect from these two in 1987, and for where they are on this card. It’s a “featured” undercard match, but obviously the 237,000 in the Silverdome are there to see Hogan vs Andre. Still, they get some reaction, they fuck around a few minutes, Heenan interferes, Harley wins. Barely an actual match at all. Harley would have put more effort into the average TV squash and this is the biggest show ever. Gotta respect it. 2/5
WrestleMania IV
No
If you scrolled down to where the matches are and missed why there’s no IV rep, it’s because I’ve reviewed every match on this terrible, near-lifelong personal favorite event on this blog before, and I don’t want to watch any of them again.
WrestleMania V
Blue Blazer vs Mr. Perfect
Perfect has a new “Olympic-style” singlet for the big show. He’s still early in his WWF run, no manager yet, everyone still figuring out what he’s going to be. Once he got rolling, he was always going to have a good spot. Ventura puts over Larry Hennig’s 24-inch neck, and he’s also hyping this as the possible sleeper of the show, with Monsoon joining him.
That’s what made them a great team, they weren’t constantly at odds and arguing; they did plenty of that, but they also felt like they were actual sports TV analysts, more than most commentary teams, especially in the WWF. They had their over-the-top aspects — for starters, they were called Jesse “The Body” Ventura and Gorilla Monsoon which is an actual insane name to just accept seriously, but we all basically did — but they could also just call a match. And both of them were extremely good at being subtle with praise for people they liked and wanted to see do well who maybe weren’t getting the huge push at the moment. Both did a lot for Bret Hart, especially Gorilla, and they’re using the same tactics for these two, who are both special in-ring talents in a world of Hercs and Beefers.
This is sort of like the Steamboat-Borne match but updated a few crucial years between 1985 and 1989. For one thing, on the negative side, the crowd don’t give a fuck about either of them or this match. And they’re doing good, sound wrestling, with Blazer breaking out some nice offense especially. It’s also obvious, if you know what you know about these fellas, that this could have been a really fantastic match in ’89, but they’re not out there for that. Hennig especially willing to take it easy, but that may be a favor to Minnesota bro Ventura, who takes the chance in a chinlock to say hi to his family back home.
This is sort of a start-and-stop match which I think has always been a bit overrated by some people, but the overrating comes from a good place of really wanting this to be good, because you want to stress that these guys are better than most everyone else on the show. And they were, but the match is just sort of loosely organized moves with no crowd reaction at Boardwalk Hall being advertised as Trump Plaza. 2/5
WrestleMania VI
Jimmy Snuka vs Rick Rude
A “death slot” match, going on just before the main event. Steve Allen joins commentary to call the babyface ugly. He is no Susan Saint James. Not a team player. These two both have name value but there’s no big reason for this match, just a match at WrestleMania, which used to be something about half the show was built on. Now we have the overkill because there’s 29 hours of live TV a week so everyone has to have some horseshit “reason” to punch each other in their underpants.
Allen’s whole purpose being here is to make fun of everything. So he’s a real influence on Excalibur. Rude’s so shredded it’s honestly a little gross. He’s just lightly crossed a line for the big show in Toronto. I always liked the way Rude used his relatively skinny legs as part of his selling, with wonky balance issues employed to comedic and lightly comedic effect. Anyway Rude wins a nothing match, but they did throw some energy into it. 2/5
WrestleMania VII
Kerry Von Erich vs Dino Bravo
Look, I know the chyron says Texas Tornado, and that’s how they marketed him, but the Fink always said “The Texas Tornado Kerry Von Erich,” so I’m calling him Kerry Von Erich.
Based on The Iron Claw, I can only assume that Dino Bravo is about 5’5″. Dino in first, so he uses that to get the jump on Kerry before the Texan can get his robe off. Once it is off, Kerry drops Dino with a weak clothesline and throws some punches, then goes for the iron claw, but no go. Bravo throws a decent chop.
A lot of the messiness of Kerry’s timing and movement by this time was due to the missing foot, of course, something that movie actually made me appreciate a bit more. The fact that he was wrestling at all is nuts; that he did it in the WWF is even crazier. Kerry gets the claw on. That gets no reaction because the WWF never wanted that move to matter much, but the discus punch finish gets a pop. Another little time filler with name brand guys, though both Kerry and Dino were on the way out in the company. Bravo got about a year more, and Von Erich a year and a half. They would also both be dead within a month of one another in early 1993.
This was Kerry’s only WrestleMania appearance, and the only one made by any Von Erich, who not terribly long before this had been some of the biggest stars in the world of wrestling, and whose run in World Class was really one of the stronger holdouts against the WWF takeover. 2/5
WrestleMania VIII
Tatanka vs Rick Martel
Rick Martel gets the tremendous assignment of saying things like, “Look at those Indians. They have no class! They have no style!” and “I heard Tatanka is still out dere SCALPING. tickets! ah ha ha ha.”
The level to which Indianapolis has no interest in Rick Martel’s entrance is pretty funny, honestly. All these people in the Hoosier Dome but you’d never heard Martel’s music more clearly. These two do have the card-placement misfortune of following Flair vs Savage, and there’s still a while to go before Hogan vs Sid. Tatanka doesn’t get much more of a reaction, either. This match is here to, as all of these things are, eat some time, and in this case also give Heenan a chance to rail about the Flair-Savage result on commentary.
Weird thing where Tatanka is accompanied, kinda, by a group of Native Americans — that’s not the weird part, what’s weird is that they do a little ceremony thing ringside but then just kinda walk away, and neither Monsoon nor Heenan acknowledge their presence. What’s odd about it is that you went to the effort to have them, but totally ignore them. WrestleMania history is filled with special little presentation things like that, but you usually at least have the commentators point out the existence of the people doing something.
Heenan goes way overboard on the Flair thing, which is fine because Heenan was great, but it also is a clear difference in the Monsoon/Ventura and Monsoon/Heenan chemistries, and I’ll just always prefer the Ventura approach. Finally, long after they’re gone, Heenan makes fun of the Native Americans, which he does not call them.
Martel and Tatanka try to put together a quick little match worth looking at, but Monsoon and Heenan totally ignore anything they’re doing for Heenan to first shout about Flair and then make some ancient jokes at Tatanka’s expense. But if you’re an art appreciator and genius, like me, then you notice these two really had some decent chemistry. Martel was terrific when he wanted to be and never worse than pretty good, working up and down to assignment. Tatanka wins in under five with a little counter crossbody, a sudden finish that catches everyone by surprise. The referee has a fantastic haircut. (I do not remember this one’s name.) 2.5/5
WrestleMania IX
Bob Backlund vs Razor Ramon
Backlund’s first WrestleMania! This is pre-“snap,” he’s back in the WWF as old time Babyface Bob, and Razor is still a bad guy, not just “The Bad Guy.” Backlund has no music. “Opie returns!” Heenan offers.
Backlund offers to engage in the Code of Honor, but Razor says no thanks. There’s a notable “Razor, Razor” chant before the two lock up, because this Bob Backlund shit just was not going to fly in 1993. The company was still trying to work from the old playbook, but the “product” had lost a lot of its wider appeal, which means you always had less and less “casual fans,” and more people who were the older diehards, the people who would just not go away no matter how bad it got, and those people had gotten past their Bob Backlund days. He’s a relic of another time.
But he can still wrestle, and Lord knows Scott Hall would go for it when he felt like it. The two have a total lack of chemistry in their styles, which leads to some clunkiness. There’s a great moment where Backlund throws a nice butterfly suplex, then doesn’t follow up getting over to Ramon, and with a pause from Jim Ross and Randy Savage both, Heenan just goes, “YeeeeUP.” Ramon grabs an inside cradle and wins, beating the pure wrestler with a pure wrestling move. Backlund is cooked.
Actually kind of a fun match. Messy in moments and short and all that, but kinda fun just to watch it be what it is, and watch them try to make something cohesive from it. It’s a fuck lot better than Backlund’s only other WrestleMania match, that hideous shitshow with Bret Hart in ’95. 2.5/5
WrestleMania X
Alundra Blayze vs Leilani Kai
I turned 12 years old six days before WrestleMania X. “WrestleMania X,” I remember thinking. 10 of them! There have been 10! I’d seen the first nine many times over already. It felt important, like a real milestone, at least to me. Most people, of course, could not have cared less, and “the business” wasn’t exactly hot in ’94, either.
By this show, WrestleManias III and VI, landmark events, felt like ancient history. 30 years later I know, of course, that a 12-year-old has no perspective. But I’d been alive for every WrestleMania, and of course I still have now that we’re about to see WrestleMania XL. I’m not saying I was fully aware of the first couple, I wasn’t, but by WrestleMania III I do have personal memories of watching wrestling. I remember, at age five, begging my grandparents for the “paper view,” which I did not get. But I’ve been around long enough to have either a direct or near-direct familiarity with every WrestleMania there has ever been.
Eventually, I’ll die, and realistically I’m probably closer to that day than I am to being a 12-year-old. I never did and, it seems likely, will never do a lot of the things with which a lot of people mark the passing of time, and as a result, have a pretty unfortunate attachment to meaningless things like WrestleMania. Another one happens, and another bit of the sliver of time I have in this life has come and gone. Gaining perspective isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
Alundra is defending her WWF women’s championship. There has been some push lately by “PMA” types to give this “era” of WWF women’s wrestling more credit; I would argue that the people who were doing their best deserve more credit, sure. Occasionally, you’d get a half-decent match, and they had some talent for it, but they never wanted to commit, and having watched all the TV and PPVs of that period fairly recently, nah, it was pretty bad. But it wasn’t the fault of the women. It was just never going to work, same as the WWF’s introduction of a light heavyweight division in ’97. The actual effort was never really going to be there, because it wasn’t something Vince McMahon actually wanted to do or cared about.
Kai was a good veteran, one of the standouts of the late Moolah era of wrestling, someone who could work. There’s a sense here that she’s a woman out of time and place, because Blayze is just so different, and Kai works like an 80s American woman. She’s doing hairmares and shit while Alundra is busting out Frankensteiners. But Alundra had also seen plenty of this, and knew how to work with and around it, and Kai was good enough and game enough to do the same in reverse.
The crowd does not care about this, which was the usual biggest problem with the matches in the division in this period. Part of that absolutely was that everyone knew this wasn’t really a division, it was just a little change-up thrown onto a show now and then. There was no focus, no consistency. Blayze finishes with a bridging German suplex to retain in a solidly-worked short match. Ringside, Moolah and Mae Young don’t seem very impressed, sitting with Lou Albano and Freddie Blassie and Nikolai Volkoff. 3/5
Tape Machines Are Rolling 
I never remember that ref’s name either, but thankfully somebody added it to the WM8 Wikipedia page years ago so I can always go there for it. The Internet remembers so I don’t have to.
(It’s Roger Ruffen)