TNA Sacrifice, Orlando, FL
Well, I recently watched their great blindfold match, so why not the Texas Death Match that people actually thought was good? Plus it’s an ON THIS DAY watch.
Lady I Do Not Remember wants to know what’s going through Chris Harris’ mind. He’s thinking about the old times of AMW and Storm trying to blind him with a beer bottle five months ago. Harris says tonight is the payback.
Storm has Pride of Tennessee Jackie Moore (Jacqueline) in his corner. That’s a very catchy name. Tenay says falls count anywhere, you get the pin or submission, and then the ref starts the 10 count. TNM7 Texas Death rules, proper stuff. Harris is carrying handcuffs and also tears his America’s Most Wanted shirt in half, and the fight starts on the entrance ramp. “So symbolic,” Mike Tenay says of Harris ripping his AMW shirt in half. Nothing gets past “The Professor.”
Out into the crowd! They’re headed up the steps in the “upper deck” of the Impact Zone. Don West is going to say “viciousness” 30 times, I can feel it. Storm is almost dumped over into the void but then he isn’t, and they start coming back down.
More crowd fighting. Wanna get me to zone out? Fight in a crowd a while. West isn’t sure Harris can really see out of the bad eye, but, I mean, he can. And I don’t mean that in an In Real Life way, I mean that still-diminished vision is not part of the story here. “Man, he’s, like, drinking that beer right there, just to kinda, like, fuel the fire,” Don West says of Harris drinking one of Storm’s beers.
Harris hits a big dive from the top over the ringside railing and onto Storm and some security dopes. Harris gets a pin on that but Storm obviously is not losing there, so he beats the count and on we go, now back into the ring. Storm chucks a chair at Harris.
Don West said “creamed” and “cream” way too often. Harris winds up hanging from his feet over the top rope toward the apron, so Storm hits him with a chair, a classic chance for Tenay to break out his “HAAAA-AAAAHHHGAHD!” call, which he does, and Harris taps a good juicer real fast.
Storm brings a table into the ring and tries a top rope Frankensteiner but Harris blocks. Harris winds up going for a Sharpshooter but Storm fights away from that, so Harris just stomps him in the dick. Harris positions Storm under the table and slingshots his head up into the bottom of it, which is funnier than anything.
Storm’s busted open so we’ve got DOUBLE BLOOD. Storm with the Eye of the Storm (spinning crucifix bomb if you don’t remember/know or never cared) through the table. That gets a pin for Storm but, again, obviously we’re not ending there. And indeed he beats the count pretty easily.
Both guys losing a lot of blood here. Storm falls from blood loss as he fetches another table. And he’s losing a LOT of blood here, to be clear. He’s dotting that table just trying to pick it up. And Harris is going real good at this point, too.
They go back-and-forth countering before Storm hits one of those Orton DDTs with Harris’ feet hanging over the second rope. And now Storm has found a trash can (and lid!) under the ring. Don West figures one shot with a garbage can will kill Chris Harris at this point. Storm also finds a kendo stick.
Harris spears Storm off the apron and through the table when he tries to come back in. Johnny Cash said something in his book about Moses infesting the world with cucumbers (Cash didn’t like cucumbers), in wrestling it’s Goldberg infesting the world with spears. Storm leaving a positively McMahonian puddle of bludd on the floor.
Harris gets a chair and they’re back in the ring. Swing misses, superkick from Storm doesn’t, cracking the chair into Harris’ face for a two count. Storm smacks Harris with a can lid, then does it again. Harris hits Storm with the Catatonic onto the can, but it only gets two. Storm absolutely covered in thick, gooey blood.
Pride of Tennessee Jackie Moore finally attacks Harris but THANK GOD FOR GAIL KIM who makes the save. Gail cuffs Jackie and drags her out of here. Storm and Harris both have bottles. Harris connects with his. And yes Don describes this as Storm “getting creamed.” I ALSO grew up with “creamed” being used the way Don intends it but by 2007 it definitely had a new meaning that meant I never used it that way again.
Bottle shot sees Storm get pinned but now he has the 10 seconds. He can’t beat it. He tries his best, but he’s just too weak. Too much blood loss.
Good match. More violent than brutal, if that makes sense. Chris Harris has become terribly underrated over the years, and it’s because his actual biggest exposure came in an incredibly brief, very bad stint in WWE as Braden Walker. But he was a really good wrestler in TNA for years, excelling in tags and being plenty capable in singles.
I suppose in a sense he’s the “Marty Jannetty” of AMW, but like Jannetty he was also a fantastic wrestler whose lack of post-team success compared to his former partner leads to people underrating his talent. Jannetty had some more success in the WWF after the split, popping in here and there, while Harris more or less just disappeared after 2007, with that WWE bit coming in 2008. And from there, basically, nothing. He did a one-off at TNA Sacrifice in 2011 but otherwise has been largely on indies, and not name brand indies, other than a 2009 FIP match with Chris Hero. The man basically just up and disappeared for all intents and purposes. So he’s kind of an odd case, sure, but boy is it easy to see how good he was when he was on his game. And Storm is a hell of a good pro wrestler, corny as he may be.
As far as violence vs brutality, in a way this lacked the intensity you might expect. They tried for that, but I feel like they hit a double instead of a home run, and it should’ve been a home run. However the sheer violence and bloodiness makes up for whatever they may have lacked there, and it’s a hell of a fight.
Tape Machines Are Rolling 
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