Chris Harris vs James Storm (TNA, 4-15-2007)

TNA Lockdown, Saint Charles, MO

A request! This is a blindfold match, and it’s a cage match by virtue of being at Lockdown. TNA can no longer afford the good six sides of steel and they’re down to some bullshit write they got from a Panda Energy warehouse. The former America’s Most Wanted had a violent split when Storm blinded Harris, who has come back seeking revenge and what have you. AN EYE FOR AN EYE! I think this is only the second blindfold match on American PPV wrestling, following the legendary Jake Roberts-Rick Martel match at WrestleMania VII.

This is a rare TNA PPV outside of Orlando, as they’re in the St. Louis area. But wherever TNA goes, local baseball players are there! Ryan Franklin and David Eckstein in the house! David Eckstein loves Rhino!

Harris’ “More Human Than Human” knockoff music is just VERY TNA. His new white duster has flames, it has skulls, it has the Statue of Liberty, it’s got it all.

They’ve got full black hoods on so they can’t see shit, and we do the blindfold match stuff where both walk around slowly and try to tiptoe and blah blah blah. I guffaw real good when they bump into each other at the side and then throw forward punches at nothing. God help me, I honestly think I might love blindfold matches.

Usually when TNA fans start chanting, Don and Mike smugly point out the chant as if no other company in the world has chanting fans. But as the TNA fans in Muzzuruh chant “we want wrestling” while these two tiptoe around the ring, they ignore that one.

Harris goes for a little takedown when he and Storm bump again, but Storm escapes and now they don’t know where one another is again. Now Harris crawls for a moment trying to figure out where he is, and finds a corner, stands up, and starts pointing around, looking for “fan help” to find Storm. At first they’re mostly booing, then they seem to realize the sooner they “help” the sooner this shit will end, so they “help” and Harris manages to take Storm down and punch away.

But Storm gets away and and we’re back to the standing and searching. Storm knees Harris in the gut, then tries to whip him to the ropes, but Harris just falls when he touches the ropes and Storm swings wild haymakers with both hands that connect with nothing.

Harris catches Storm with a wild left hand, which knocks Storm’s hood off, meaning the referee has to race in to put it back on. Great job by Storm thinking quickly to sell this like a KO blow with the hood falling off, which allows the referee to put it back on without a fight. These people are chanting “boring,” and they’re chanting it loudly. Maybe these folks should go to the amateur wrestling meet where nobody has made anyone else blind and NECESSITATED a blindfold match. Did they ever think of that?

Anyway, Storm hits a bodyslam but misses an elbow drop by several seconds. WWE need to run a blindfold match on an upcoming empty gym show tbh. Imagine all the glory of the blindfold match but with no crowd whatsoever to help the babyface find the heel? You could really get into the gimmick then.I’d say AEW could consider it but they’d have Colt Cabana and El Hijo del Mr. Ass out there yelling to help Darby Allin or whomstever.

Storm’s hood going about as well as the belt trying to stay on the hook in the first Ultimate X match, as it comes off again when he simply whips his head back while clawing at Harris’ face. Storm uses the screw-up this time to cheat some, as he knows where Harris is when the referee puts the hood back on, so he walks back over and grabs him, hitting an inverted swinging DDT for two.

Storm goes for that again, but Harris knees upwards and breaks the hold. Storm brings him back, but Harris drags him off with an Ace Crusher. Storm tries to climb the cage for some fucking reason, so now they’re both up there standing on the top rope. While up there, Storm’s hood falls off a third time and he gets speared off the top rope by Harris. The hood stole the spotlight there, though.

The finish sees Harris accidentally put referee Rudy Charles in a sharpshooter, then realizes the man has pants on so it can’t be Storm, who removes his hood and superkicks Harris for the finish. Outstanding.

Listen, I am not recommending this or Roberts-Martel to anyone, but I find this shit fun somehow. I think it’s because these are meant to be blowoffs for very serious grudges — people were BLINDED to make these matches — but they ultimately play out as comedy matches and make SERIOUS WRESTLING fans really mad. That said this is not as good as Roberts-Martel, in part because Storm’s hood keeps falling off, and in larger part because the 2007 TNA audience is not as willing to go along with the gag as the 1991 WWF audience.

Rating: 2.5/5