SMW Bluegrass Brawl, Pikeville, KY
This is a Singapore Spike match, with four boxes on each ring post and one of them containing the GOLDEN SPIKE. Sullivan threatens to stab Lee and recreate his time in Norway “clubbing baby seals,” while Lee threatens to “kick Sullivan’s ass.”
Nightstalker is in Sullivan’s corner, handcuffed to a corner, as Tim Horner is in Lee’s corner. Like Nighstalker, Lee is another big dude who never quite made it in the big time, but hung around for years all the same and did well in Smoky Mountain and somewhat in ECW and even less somewhat in TNA. He was also Fake Undertaker and Chainz in DOA. Nowadays he’s one of those guys I always forget if he’s dead or not. (He’s not.)
Sullivan’s gotta be the shortest wrestler who was never, that I can remember, booked as Little Guy. Like, the Nightstalker-Horner match before this one, Horner is working as small against Nightstalker. Sullivan is shorter than Horner and Lee about as tall as Nightstalker but Sullivan does not have to use quickness. You gotta hand it to that guy, he really got a bunch of goofy promoters to believe in his shit for a long time.
The fight goes out to the floor immediately and Lee has the advantage in the early brawl. Sullivan spent most of his career attempting to come off like a violent psychopath but mostly only managed to succeed with his cartoon Satanism, which is fun to post as photos on Tumblr but not much fun to watch wrestle. It wasn’t until he hand-picked Chris Benoit that he was really able to find someone who could make his inability or unwillingness to sell any offense look badass, and that was all Benoit’s doing.
That’s my way of saying that of course this is your normal Kevin Sullivan bullshit. He sells nothing and the other guy sells everything. Sullivan posts Lee and throws a couple chairs at him after ignoring Lee choking him. Sullivan into the ring and goes for a box, but Lee cuts him off and lands a few punches that Sullivan ignores. Whip to the other corner, Sullivan gets a boot up to Lee’s waist and goes for another box, but Lee cuts it off. Sullivan no-sells, lands some shots, and throws Lee back out to the floor.
Sullivan follows out and Nightstalker gets a backing-up Lee in a choke, allowing Sullivan a free shot. Back into the ring and Sullivan goes for another box, Lee grabs him by the tights and exposes his untanned ass for a moment. Lee with shots, Sullivan ignores, Sullivan throws Lee back out to the floor.
Sullivan opens a box and it has nothing in it. Lee hits Sullivan in the back with a chair and finally the “five foot eight” monster sells something. Ideally this would mean something like when Andre or Brody finally actually sold but it is Kevin Sullivan and he is not Andre or Brody.
Lee finds nothing in a box and Sullivan throws him out of the ring again. Lee’s head smacked off the table, hits him with the “iron bar that’s used to ring the bell” and the bell itself. Lance Russell: “This guy’s such an incredible brawler!”
Sullivan has a hammer and he’s hitting Lee with it, so Lee fights back and Sullivan, again, sells none of it, he just rolls back into the ring. As soon as Lee gets back in, Sullivan knocks him down and attacks Lee’s testicles with some pliers, passed to him by the Nightstalker.
To be fair, people are into it. Sullivan finds nothing in box number three. Pretty shit luck for these guys to miss three straight times. Sullivan with a headbutt, Lee hits Sullivan in the balls and Sullivan kinda sells for a second while walking over to the box with the spike in it.
Lee cuts that off and they lazily brawl some more. Sullivan with slaps to the chest. Lee shaking the ropes like the Ultimate Warrior, and he hits a two-hand chokeslam, which Sullivan just pops right up from. Lee hits a crossbody and wipes out both Sullivan and referee Mark Curtis.
Nightstalker has the spike, Lee takes it, Sullivan winds up with it, and it winds up on the mat after that. They trade shots and guess who gets the better of it? Nightstalker fails to pass the spike back to Sullivan, so Lee rolls Sullivan up for the win.
After the match, Sullivan gets a chair and argues with Nightstalker. Sullivan waits a while for them to un-cuff Stalker and they take forever doing that. So they just stand there like a couple of idiots having a slow argument, Sullivan occasionally shoving his pupil. Stalker swipes at Sullivan, who finally just hits Stalker with the chair three times, and the Nightstalker learns from the Master indeed, no-selling the shots, getting free, and running Sullivan off.
Rating: 1/5. They promised me golden spike violence and didn’t even have the decency to deliver that after several minutes of Kevin Sullivan horseshit. The least this could have had was blood. It had fuck all. I always heard Kevin Sullivan was a nice old veteran when he’d do indie shows and would buy beer for everyone and shit but man fuck almost all Kevin Sullivan matches.
Tape Machines Are Rolling 
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