WarGames 2000: Russo’s Revenge (WCW, 9-4-2000)

WCW Monday Nitro, Dallas, TX

This is a request via Ko-fi. This was Vince Russo’s hot new take on the WarGames concept. It’s a triple cage. Two teams of four: Vince Russo, Kevin Nash, Scott Steiner & Jeff Jarrett vs Sting, Booker T, and Kronik. And Goldberg is on that team. Or some team. I don’t know and don’t remember and the show is confusing and I’m not watching all of it. It doesn’t matter about teams, really. The world heavyweight title is on the line. The first to climb up and get the title and then leave the cage with the belt is the champion. Nash comes in as champion.

Jarrett and Sting are going to start. You can win the title whenever, it doesn’t have to be after everyone is in. Sting clotheslines Jarrett out to the floor and runs him into the cage. Run into the cage again. Someone in the front row has a The Way of the Gun poster for some reason.

Sting sets up a ladder in the corner inside the ring, but Jarrett goes after him with right hands and a ram into the top turnbuckle. Whip reversed and Jarrett hits the ladder, then they do that again. The clock counts down. Third entrant is Scott Steiner.

Steiner, wearing his Bill Laimbeer facemask, sprints to the ring and stops Sting from climbing up to the second cage. Steiner and Jarrett hit Sting with the ladder as Sting hangs off the steel, then he falls and crotches himself on the top rope.

Steiner presses Sting and slams him. Jarrett brings another ladder into the ring, a bigger ladder. Sting gets whipped into the smaller ladder. Steiner clotheslines Sting down. Clock counting down again as Jarrett and Steiner dominate. Fourth entrant is Kronik, who get to enter at the same time because WHO CARES, baby, it’s 2000 WCW!

Steiner has made it to the second level, and he finds some bolt cutters and cuts a chain off the side of the cage, which is lined with various weapons. Kronik beat up Jarrett and Brian Adams starts to climb up to the second level. He gets there and Bryan Clark follows. They look like massive versions of Ferrell and Kattan in the Roxbury skit, basically. Quite a Look in 2000, believe me.

Kronik beating up Steiner now. They lift Steiner and softly drop him down over their knees. Next in: Vince Russo, accompanied by the definitely not white supremacist Harris twins.

Sting and Jarrett fight down at the bottom. The Harris twins climb the outside of the cage and enter the door on the second level and go after Kronik, but Kronik have weapons. Steiner climbs down to the bottom and Sting takes him down. “It’s a hardcore cage!” shouts Tony Schiavone as the Harrises and Kronik beat each other up with various weapons.

Sting with a Stinger Splash on Vince Russo, who, by the way, is wearing a New Jersey Devils sweater and a hockey helmet. The helmet is legitimately funny, I don’t care. Scorpion Deathlock on Russo.

Kevin Nash is next in, walking faster than he has in months, perhaps. Nash apparently plans to stand by the door, but he steps over the top rope and into the ring, staring down Sting. Nash helps Steiner up, Sting runs in from behind with a Stinger splash to both, then misses a second attempt. Nash hits a chokeslam on Sting.

Russo’s up and offers Nash a high five, but Nash gets him with the GOOZLE, too. Steiner and Jarrett plead with Nash not to do it. Russo begging Nash and apologizing to him. I don’t really remember what for. Nash is fucking around ACTING and GOOZLES Russo again. Then he GOOZLES Jarrett. Then he GOOZLES Steiner. Nash looks like he’s completely taking the piss here.

Anyway, Kronik and the Harris twins have brawled out of the cage and apparently just left. Booker T is in. Booker hits an axe kick on Jarrett. Steiner feeds himself to Booker for another axe kick. Russo hits Booker from behind, then begs for his life when Booker shakes it off. Axe kick on Vince Russo. Then Nash big foots Booker in the face.

So the Russo/Nash/Steiner/Jarrett team are standing tall here. Sting and Booker are down. Another ladder is in the ring. Crowd chanting for Goldberg as the bad guys, I guess they are, beat up Sting and Booker. Nash sets Russo for the jackknife randomly, then Goldberg runs down and into the ring.

Right hand to Jarrett, right hand to Steiner. Goldberg gets Russo and Steiner and Jarrett break that up. Then Goldberg takes them down with a double clothesline, and Russo clubs the shit out of Goldberg with the big rubber bat made more hilariously famous in the Steiner-Goldberg match at Fall Brawl 2000.

Booker’s on the second level but down. Goldberg gets handcuffed to the ropes. Nash is now just guarding the door. Nash is next level lazy in this match, it rules. Steiner and Sting up to the second level. Steiner and Booker fight outside the second cage. Sting joins. Jarrett joins with a trash can. Nash just watches from the bottom. Goldberg is dead. “Even Goldberg cannot break the cold steel of those handcuffs.” Gee.

Sting tries to use the can as a weapon but drops it on the backswing. Booker’s going all the way up top, where the belt hangs over the third cage. Booker eventually unhooks the belt. Now he has to get down.

Jarrett goes after Booker, who drops the belt. But Booker gets it back and hits Jarrett with it. Steiner climbing up now, he eats a belt shot. Hey Sting is handcuffed to the second level cage. Jarrett has a guitar and breaks it over Booker’s head. Now they’re gonna handcuff Booker. Steiner drops the belt down and Russo has it. Russo taunts Goldberg.

HERE COMES THE CAT! The Cat kicks Vince Russo in the face. The Cat has the belt, but he’s not in the match. Nash knees Cat in the gut, then jackknifes him. Hey guess what, Goldberg breaks the handcuffs.

Superkick to Nash. Boot for Steiner. Forearm for Jarrett. Russo has the rubber bat again but Goldberg blocks it and punches Russo in the face. Goldberg has the belt. All he has to do is walk out but he wastes time taunting, then drops the belt and has to pick it up. Goldberg spits back at the ring. Then someone slams the door on Goldberg’s head — it’s Bret Hart!

Jarrett picks the belt up and throws it in the ring. Steiner and Jarrett put Goldberg back in the ring. Nash and Russo hug, what an incredible swerve. Anyway, Nash walks out with the belt so he’s still champ. “It was a plan all along!”

Rating: 2/5. Classic Russo horseshit. Dumb, overbooked, and seriously lacking in any real action despite there being like 15 people and a bunch of weapons and three cages involved. But it’s fun to watch in its way, too, so I’ll give it a 2 instead of anything less.