The Rock vs The Hurricane (WWE, 3-10-2003)

WWE RAW, Cleveland, OH

This is a request via Ko-fi. A pretty famous RAW match, no-DQ between The Rock, who’s headed to WrestleMania XIX to face Steve Austin in what would be Austin’s final match (and one of my favorite matches ever), and The Hurricane, who is a guy on the roster.

The Rock was supposed to face Booker T on this show, but Rock opens the show telling Eric Bischoff that it’s not happening — not that he’s afraid of Booker T. Rock is focused on beating Austin at WrestleMania. “That’s the only goal. It eats me alive.” So no match with Booker. But EB has sponsors and advertisers that were told Rock would be in action.

Later, Rock is playing guitar and he asks someone off-screen if they’re ready to go one-on-one with The Great One. Camera pans out to reveal The Hurricane. Hurricane has been “a pain in The Rock’s ass” for three weeks leading up to this. Rock books it for no-DQ. Then there’s some comedy. Then I watch the match. But not before I see the end of Jerry Lawler shooting Stacy Keibler in the ass hole with a SuperSoaker!

Rock’s 2003 heel music was great. Hurricane’s music hits. JR: “Folks, this is gonna be a car wreck. You might wanna send the kids to bed. … This is gonna be a message for Stone Cold Steve Austin.”

Rock is all smiles to start. Hurricane looks determined. It’s a big chance for him. Rock slaps him in the face, that’s the first shot. “The Rock is like the schoolyard bully with this kid.” Hurricane charges, Rock slaps him again.

Hurricane comes back with a series of right hands, sends Rock to the ropes, but Rock grabs them and slides out of the ring. Hurricane chases out and throws Rock back in. Right hands from Hurricane. Rock sends him off the ropes and hits him with a Samoan drop. Rock claps for himself, then grabs Hurricane’s cape out of the corner and puts it on. Lawler is worried he’ll fly out of the arena.

Rock with stylish stomps to Hurricane. Hurricane slams Rock’s head into the turnbuckle, Rock reverses another whip, telegraphs a backdrop, but still drops Hurricane with a clothesline. Rock pretends to fly and tosses the cape outside.

Vertical suplex from Rock. Cover gets two. Rock chokes Hurricane over the second rope. JR is disgusted by Rock’s behavior here, assuring us that “acting like a smartass” won’t work against Austin at WrestleMania.

Hurricane with rights to the body, Rock reverses another whip and hits a clothesline. Rock jogging around the ring, mocking Hurricane. Snapmare from Rock, into a chinlock. He holds that for a bit. Hurricane fading.

There’s lots of talk about “whipping ass” here.

Rock goes for a back suplex, Hurricane flips out and hits a neckbreaker. JR LOSES HIS FUCKING MIND.

“And yes, I figured that he’s gonna get his ass handed to him here, The Hurricane. But he’s not gonna quit! And, folks, BY GOD that’s gotta count for somethin’! This is AMERICA! And we don’t quit on NOTHIN’!”

Hurricane with right hands, surprising Rock, who fires back but gets hit with a couple jumping clotheslines and something WWE was willing to call a shining wizard in 2003. Hurricane up top, flies, hits the crossbody for two. Suddenly, Jim Ross is greatly invested in THIS match, rather than explaining Rock-Austin to us.

Blockbuster from Hurricane gets another two. Rock reverses another whip — Hurricane can’t Irish whip this dude to save his life — but this time pulls Hurricane into a DDT. Rock kips up, Rock Bottom is blocked with an elbow. Hurricane goes for the chokeslam, Rock knocks him away. Repeat that. Rock goes for the chokeslam, Hurricane kicks him in the nuts.

Chokeslam from Hurricane! Kind of in the style of a Rock Bottom. Long two count for Hurricane’s pin, crowd has realized something fun is going on here so they’ve gotten invested.

Hurricane caught with a spinebuster. Rock sets for the People’s Elbow, but he doesn’t take the pad off. Then Austin’s music hits. Here comes Stone Cold Steve. Rock sets for a fight. Austin gets to ringside, stops, Hurricane rolls Rock up — 1, 2, 3!

Rating: 2.5/5. It’s fun enough, but outside of the result, nothing memorable. And the result meant nothing, it was just a fluke happening. Austin’s music never stops playing and Hurricane simply runs backstage after the three count. It was never even 1% about Hurricane beating Rock. It’s entirely on the Austin-Rock rivalry. That’s fine, I totally get it and understand it and it’s fine, but this match can’t really get any special rating. It is a minor hoot, though, confirmed, and was fun to watch again.