Kurt Angle vs Desmond Wolfe (TNA, 12-20-2009)

TNA Final Resolution, Orlando, FL

This is a request via Ko-fi. I’ve never seen this match. In fact I’m not sure I’ve ever seen more than a couple Nigel in TNA matches. This is a “Three Degrees of Pain” match — the first fall is pinfall only, second fall is submission only, and third fall if needed is a cage match with escape rules.

The cage is up the whole time, of course. They aren’t just gonna take a big break and put a cage up for the third fall. The first two falls, the cage can’t be used as a weapon, though, or it’s a DQ.

They knuckle lock it to start, Wolfe rolls through and goes to a top wristlock and a hammerlock. Angle with a standing switch, takes Wolfe down into a front facelock. Wolfe escapes, into an armbar. Wolfe grabs the head, too. Angle stands it up, picks an ankle and takes Wolfe down, then goes into a leglock. Wolfe turns him over and stomps out.

European uppercut from Wolfe. Back to the head-and-arm hold. Angle rolls out and goes to a hammerlock. Wolfe stands it up, snapmares out, Angle counters right back to the hammerlock. Wolfe elbows out. Finally someone hit somebody. Double chop to the throat from Wolfe.

European uppercut from Wolfe. Back to more fucking grapplecrap. Someone yells out “this is boring” and I can’t entirely disagree. Wolfe tries to hold Angle down in pins and fails three times. Wolfe misses a knee, Angle comes back with some shots, but Wolfe pokes the eyes. Headlock takedown. Crowd tries to start a spirited dueling chant. The Angle fans are more into it.

Top wristlock from Wolfe, holding the headlock after that. Another headlock takeover from Wolfe when Angle tries to fight out. Angle gets up and pushes Wolfe off, but Wolfe hits a shoulderbreaker. Angle with a hiptoss, then a vertical suplex. Angle sends Wolfe to the corner, Wolfe elbow up, but Angle hits a buckle bomb. Angle tries to follow up, Wolfe snaps him down with an armbar takedown.

Headbutt to the gut from Wolfe. Angle off the ropes, goes for a sunset flip, but Wolfe slams the arm down on the mat again. And another fuckin headlock. It’s a fancy headlock, but goddamn.

Angle stands it up. Angle off the ropes, hits a forearm, then a back elbow. Wolfe with a boot up in the corner, but Angle hits a belly-to-belly. You can really see the difference in Angle’s movement by 2009 as compared to the early 2000s. Flying hammerlock from Wolfe stops Angle’s momentum again.

Wolfe misses a lariat, Angle hits a German, second German, third German, fourth German, fifth German, that one released. Angle goes up top, Wolfe cuts him off. Tower of London from Wolfe! Two count. Wolfe misses a lariat again, Angle rolls him up for two.

Angle sends Wolfe to the corner, runs into a third fucking boot in the corner, then goes for the Tower of London again, Angle counters with the Angle Slam for two. Angle going up again. Moonsault misses. There’s the big lariat from Wolfe. Another Tower of London. Three count, Wolfe’s up 1-0.

Now we’re on the submission fall. Wolfe goes right to work on the arm. Angle gets the leg grapevined with an ankle lock that they’re pretending is a figure four. Wolfe back to work on the arm. Angle is really struggling through this match.

Wolfe staying on the arm, Angle goes for the Angle Slam, but Wolfe drags the arm over in counter. Angle gets the ankle lock, though. Center of the ring. Wolfe rolls it over and counters into more arm work. Then some submission attempt trading, a lot of slow rolling around. A sad “this is wrestling” chant goes up.

Wolfe with a triangle choke, Angle survives it and suddenly springs out and back to the ankle lock. Wolfe tries to kick him off, Angle hangs on and then grapevines the leg. Wolfe taps, it’s 1-1 and we’re on to ESCAPE THE CAGE.

Taz and Tenay take some shots at WWE, I think, who are running across town in Orlando. You won’t see THIS “great” wrestling at THAT show!

Now the cage can be used. Angle goes up, Wolfe follows and cuts him off, hitting a superplex. Wolfe tries to climb out, Angle cuts him off. Angle up there with Wolfe. Wolfe knocks him down, then Angle slowly runs up the ropes and hits the belly-to-belly.

Wolfe with a headbutt to the chest, Angle reverses a whip and sends Wolfe into the cage. Angle with a running lariat. Wolfe’s busted open from the cage. “Oh, boy, that’s graphic. Good God. Oh man. He’s gaffed open.” Angle goes for a frog splash and Wolfe lifts a leg, but it hurts his own ankle, which Angle used to submit him in the second fall just minutes ago.

Wolfe screaming for the door to be opened, though, but he takes too long and Angle cuts it off. Wolfe kicks him away, though. Wolfe back to trying to crawl out, and he gets most of the way out before Angle grabs him by the leg and locks the ankle lock on again. He sits down on it and Wolfe taps, but it doesn’t matter.

Angle releases and climbs to the top of the cage. Wolfe trying to get up, but can’t. Angle climbing down, Wolfe crawling out, Angle lands first and wins.

Rating: 2/5. Really didn’t get into this at all despite Taz telling me “we just witnessed somethin’ pretty cool” and Tenay calling it a “wrestling classic.” Angle looked lousy in there, as he often did in TNA. The effort was still there, but his body just wasn’t responding the way he wanted. A lot of people just seem not to notice or care, one or the other, but it always bothers me. He slipped so far over the years from where he was before he left WWE. There’s just no soul in this match, it all feels well thought out and everything, but like they’re going through the motions — actually, not even that, it’s that Angle CAN’T do much more than look like he’s going through the motions. Going through the motions is taking enough of a toll on him.