John Cena vs Rob Van Dam (ECW, 6-11-2006)

ECW One Night Stand, New York, NY

This is a request via Ko-fi. It’s the main event of the second ECW One Night Stand show produced by WWE, the one that launched the ECW brand under WWE ownership. Well, explicitly under WWE ownership, I mean.

RVD is cashing in his Money in the Bank for this match, so a planned cash-in, not spontaneous. It’s an ECW rules match with Cena defending the WWE championship. If RVD wins, he’s gonna rechristen it the ECW championship for this new era.

The crowd is rabid for RVD, but even that love doesn’t compare to how much they hate John Cena at the Hammerstein Ballroom, maybe my favorite wrestling venue ever. And Cena handles it perfectly, stone-faced on his way to the ring as he enters the hostile environment. There’s a big sign hanging over a balcony that says, “IF CENA WINS WE RIOT,” and that’s maybe the only time in the modern era that might have been a credible threat.

Cena hands off his belt to ECW referee John Finnegan, shadowboxes a bit, and then Bob Artese takes over on the introductions. Cena throws his hat into the crowd, it comes flying back. He throws his shirt into the crowd, it comes flying back. Cena tosses the shirt again. It comes back again. He does it again. A guy in the balcony catches it and FIRES it back to the ring. Cena talks to the referee, throws the shirt again, and it’s hurled back to him yet again. One more time. He tosses it, a guy catches it, spits on it five times, and throws it back. It doesn’t make it to the ring this time, but then it does when a guy wipes his ass with it and flips Cena the birds.

“ECDub” chant goes up big. “John Cena must feel like a Christian thrown to the lions.” RVD gets in his face and does the pointing gimmick. Cena drops the shirt out to the floor. It’s time to get down to business. Toilet paper is thrown at Cena. “He doesn’t belong here.” They do a dueling chant, but it’s the same chant back-to-back: “Fuck you, Cena!”

Cena backs RVD to the corner in a lockup, and he does not give a clean break, laying in some right hands. BIG “you can’t wrestle” chant. Cena hits a fisherman suplex for one. Lockup again, Cena to a side headlock as Tazz warns ECW faithful not to underestimate Cena’s toughness, even if he, too, is rooting for Van Dam.

Van Dam misses an enzuigiri but comes back with the other foot, landing a side kick to the other side of the head. Cena bails to the floor. He takes his time out there, then goes nose-to-nose with Cena. They trade right hands. Crowd reacts to every shot landed. Cena gets the better of it, but RVD comes back and drops him with a series of rights.

Cena reverses a whip and catches Van Dam in a powerslam for two. RVD clotheslined over the top to the floor as the crowd chants “same old shit!” Cena flies to the floor, landing a single axhandle to the back. Cena methodical outside, controlling the offense. Van Dam stumbles into a table, then gets his head smacked off of it.

Van Dam comes back with a moonsault press off the steps. RVD grabs a chair, but Cena strikes first and whips him into a cameraman. Van Dam hits him, springs up to the guardrail, and gets shoved into the crowd before he can make his move at John.

Cena follows into the crowd, grabbing a “FUCK YOU CENA” sign and holding it over Van Dam’s face before punching him. Cena takes it back to ringside, but RVD catches him coming over the guardrail. Cena hanging over the guardrail, and Van Dam climbs to the apron, hitting the corkscrew leg lariat to Cena’s lower back.

Both down on the floor for a moment. Back in the ring, Van Dam slides out with a baseball dropkick, then drops a springboard legdrop over the apron. Van Dam grabs a chair and dropkicks it into Cena’s face in the corner. Cover gets two.

Van Dam follows up with rolling thunder on the chair, and he’s flopping around like he does as Cena lays dead. Van Dam crawls over, covers, and gets two. Cena selling like he can’t breathe after taking those shots to the sternum. Van Dam hits a powerslam, and heads up top. No, never mind, he’s getting the chair first, placing it over Cena. Split-legged moonsault on the chair, but Cena gets the chair up to prevent the impact.

Cena comes back with a spike DDT on the chair, Van Dam taking even a mediocre Cena DDT like pure death. Crowd still all over Cena, chanting “You can’t wrestle” again, and loudly. Cena wedges the chair in the corner. Cena slingshots Van Dam into it, and RVD just drives his skull through the chair. Cena throws him down, pins, and gets two.

Crowd stays all over Cena’s case. He soaks it up. Cena bouncing around, waiting for Van Dam to get up, and hits the big kneeling slam. “Same old shit” chant again. Cena raises his hand, smiles, and U CANT C ME. Five knuckle shuffle hits. Boy, do they hate it. Cena salutes Van Dam mockingly. They chant “asshole,” and Cena smiles again, playing to them, waiting for Van Dam.

RVD gets up, Cena gets him up for the FU and Van Dam lands on his feet, hitting a spinning heel kick to slow Cena’s momentum for a moment, maybe turning the tide. RVD pulls himself up in the corner, but Cena is up under his own power much easier. He lays in with right hands and a hard corner-to-corner whip, then runs into a foot from Van Dam. Van Dam springs up top, Cena pulls him off with a power bomb. Cena covers, two count again.

“Die Cena Die” chant now. Van Dam ducks a right hand, and tries to, uh, do something over the middle of the rope. Eventually Van Dam just dumps Cena to the floor. I mean, it’s something. “Cena fucked up” chant which is probably inaccurate. Van Dam dropkicks a recovering Cena back to the floor, then follows out on the other side.

RVD looking under the ring now. He finds a table. Van Dam sets it up leaning in the corner, but Cena takes him down and locks in the STFU. Cena screaming for Van Dam to tap, which is pretty out of character for Big Match John. Crowd chanting for RVD, he’s reaching for the rope, and he manages to grab it. John Finnegan has to wrestle Cena off of Van Dam. Cena: “What are you gonna do?” Cena shoves Finnegan, who shoves back. Cena clotheslines Finnegan. Because, again, what’s he gonna do?

Van Dam up top, but cut off again. Cena hits a superplex. Cena goes outside and fetches the ring steps, throwing them into the ring. Cena cracks Van Dam in the head with the steps. He’s in full control, and Van Dam is slipping. A new referee, Nick Patrick from Smackdown, comes into the ring for the cover, but Van Dam gets a shoulder up.

Table still leaning in the corner. Cena goes for the FU, Van Dam grabs the top rope so Cena just throws him over to the floor. Then a figure in a black trench coat with a motorcycle helmet spears Cena through the table! Then he lays out Patrick.

He unmasks and it’s Edge, to a mild mixed reaction. Some chanting “Thank you, Edge,” which picks up. This is kinda like when Sid, the kind of guy ECW built their vibe on NOT employing, showed up in ECW and was a hero. Which is fine, Sid rules, but it was always funny to me.

Van Dam springs up top — five star frog splash! He has no referee. Nick Patrick is still out and Van Dam can’t wake him. Paul Heyman slides into the ring. He counts — one, two, three! “I guess! Alright!” It’s official, though. Hey, it’s Paul’s show. He can do what he wants.

Van Dam leaves through the crowd to celebrate with his wife in the balcony, then comes back and gets embraced by noted ECW stalwarts Kurt Angle and Big Show. Oh and some other guys, your Tommy Dreamers and Justin Credibles and Danny Dorings and whatnot.

Rating: 4.5/5. It’s a special atmosphere and for me that’s plenty enough to carry any of the match’s flaws. It was predictable that they’d bone the ECW reboot, and they did, but who cares now? This match is this match, period, and it’s a great one, as good as it really could have been. Cena is a phenomenal heel here, playing the ECW lunatics like a fiddle, and they’re happy to go along with it. And Van Dam puts in a great performance, too, bumping like a madman, selling big for Cena’s limited offense. He’s the hero this crowd wants, against the villain they want to hate.