Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal (WWE, 3-29-2015)

WWE WrestleMania 31, Santa Clara, CA

A request! One year after Cesaro’s incredible win in the first “The Andre,” it’s back! A great tradition! Now on the pre-show.

(Requests open and tips always appreciated!)

Daniel Bryan vs Jack Swagger + Antonio Cesaro + Ryback (WWE, 7-22-2013)

WWE Monday Night Raw, Austin, TX

A request! John Cena had recently selected Daniel Bryan as his opponent for SummerSlam, and this episode of Raw opens with a contract signing for SummerSlam. GM Brad Maddox is not a big fan! So then John Cena defends Daniel Bryan even though Daniel Bryan is small and wimpy. Dunno if you noticed, he has a beard! It wasn’t that long ago that having a beard was an utterly fascinating physical trait to people who worked in the WWE office. Daniel Bryan in 2013 might as well have had a big fucken unicorn horn for as wild as they found having that beard.

(Requests open and tips always appreciated!)

Team USA vs The Multinational Alliance (WWE, 7-4-2016)

WWE RAW, Columbus, OH

A request! A match I’d totally forgotten about, but I did remember the food fight that opened the Independence Day Raw as soon as I saw Kevin Owens sitting at a table, before it all broke down, because I instantly remembered him calmly crawling under a table with a bag of Lay’s to ride out the storm. It was actually a really fun WWE goofy segment that they, as always, wound up taking one extra beat too far for it to hit as well as it could have.

(Requests open and tips always appreciated!)

PPV REVIEW: AEW Double or Nothing 2022 (5-29-2022)

I’m in a very cautious budgeting period of my normally reckless, freestyle way of life but I really wanted to watch this pay-per-view program live, so I went the crowdsourcing route via Ko-fi. It worked! And I actually did use the money to buy the show instead of sneaking away with it and stealing a pirate stream, which I do know how to do, despite everyone on the internet assuming you don’t know how if you suggest you’re willing to pay for something.

Also, I note nobody asked for any match reviews or anything, but I’d have a feeling of some type shame or the like if I didn’t do anything to even kinda feel like I’d earned this great payday, so I’m going to dust off the ol’ PPV-reviewing gloves and do a proper PPV review for the first time since probably, like, 2014.

This is a match review blog by design, but also it is a stupid fucking blog intermittently given attention by an aging idiot, so this will just exist. Who knows? Maybe more of this will happen. I do actually believe that there is value in how matches seem in the context of their entire show, but also in how matches seem in a vacuum. So in other words I have no opinion about reviewing wrestling other than most people should stop it. Not me, though.

Anyway, let’s go, motherfuckers.

The Inner Circle vs The Pinnacle (AEW, 5-5-2021)

AEW Dynamite: Blood & Guts, Jacksonville, FL

It’s a WarGames match. They can’t say that but me? I can. I am not beholden to the law.