WWE WrestleMania XIX, Seattle, WA
A request!
Never been a match I loved. I’m not as high on first-run Lesnar as a lot of people, I’m not NEARLY as high on Angle as a lot (a lot) of people, and I didn’t think they had the captivating chemistry others saw.
But it is a new day. A new time. And I probably haven’t watched this in 15 years.
(Requests open and tips always appreciated!)
Lesnar’s Road to WrestleMania started with the Royal Rumble win, after he’d dominated upon arrival in 2002, winning King of the Ring in June and then the WWE title at SummerSlam against The Rock. He also made Hulk Hogan bite the rubber, brother. In November, Paul Heyman turned on him so that Lesnar could go face, aligning himself with Big Show, which, like, so much for being such a brilliant manager. He traded Randy Johnson for Mark Langston.
So with the face turn, which was really just a heel turning on him, Lesnar didn’t actually do anything himself, he got to win the Rumble and get set up to be the babyface challenger at Mania. Big Show stunningly did not make it long with the title he won against Lesnar at Survivor Series, dropping the belt to Angle at Armageddon the next month.
After that, Angle also added Heyman and Team Angle, Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas, and then brought in his brother Eric Angle. Now at WrestleMania, if anyone interferes on Angle’s behalf, or if he’s counted out or DQ’d, the title goes to Lesnar.
Angle’s out first because this disgusting entertainment company hates wrestling tradition, and really hates wrestling in general. Michael Cole is losing his voice (long show, had to scream a lot) as we get started with Lesnar’s first WrestleMania entrance.
Taz(z) rambles and finds his way to saying Tito Ortiz “is in attendance here somewhere,” and Cole blows the fuck past that as quickly as he can because like most normal people, he does not care about Tito Ortiz.
The wrestling you’d expect to start, Angle showing his experience and technique advantages, but Lesnar has the raw power and explosiveness. “I don’t like to harp on it,” Cole says, “but these are the two most decorated athletes in the history of the WWE.” He actually does like to harp on it, and with due respect to Lesnar’s collegiate achievements, that is just not true. It’s true now, but it wasn’t in 2003. What’s an NCAA wrestling title compared to Bad News Brown’s Olympic bronze in judo?
“Pincovah.”
Lesnar with a big shoulderblock, but his ribs are still giving him problems from an Angle Slam on a steel chair 10 days before, then took a twobuhforr (2×4) to his ribs on the prior Smackdown just days ago.
Angle elbows out of a waistlock, but runs into a Lesnar armdrag and Brock grabs an armbar with a butterfly grip. Tazz is teaching me a lot. Angle with a knee to the ribs, then some hammer fists down onto the lower back. Brock driving his shoulder into Angle’s breadbasket, but runs into an elbow charging to the other corner, and catches Angle with a powerslam for two.
Angle ducks a short clothesline and takes Brock over with a huge German suplay, but Lesnar pops back up and drops him with a clothesline. “This Brock Lesnar’s, like, subhuman!” Tazz exclaims. Indeed.
Angle goes out to get some space, and it works, as Lesnar stupidly chases even though Angle trying to get a countout is a title forfeit. Absolutely no reason for him to go out after Angle, other than pride and wanting to win in a noble fashion, which is dumb. Now it’s a Lesnar press slam. Seems like I’m watching a lot of wrestling featuring guys suckering big muscular dummies and also getting hit with press slams.
Angle gets a boot to the ribs in when Lesnar charges the corner, then checks his area and Germans Lesnar back into the turnbuckles, where he hits high and cracks his lower back, jarring his ribs.
Brock out to the floor. Angle goes after him. My God, another moron! Let him get counted out! Angle drives Lesnar into the barricade, lands some forearms. “Kurt Angle’s like a barracuda!” Cole offers. He also said Angle told him he’s feeling better than ever and has recently lost seven lbs with intense training! Angle was actually in pretty awful shape, as he’d hurt his neck pretty severely at No Way Out the month before, but Mike is battling the dirtsheets, which of course did not exist until a few years ago according to some people. There’s even a sign in the crowd thanking Kurt for this match. His sacrifice.
Back in the ring, back suplay from Angle and a pincover for two. Vertical suplay and a pincover for two. Bow-and-arrow from Angle. Lesnar eventually trying to elbow out, but doesn’t have the right angle (!) and also is tiring. Angle goes onto Lesnar’s back, mounting him , and then switches to a deep chinlock.
Up from there, but a Lesnar advantage doesn’t get far before Angle throws him with an overhead belly-to-belly suplay and a knee into the back, then another that sends Brock flying out to the floor. Back in, because for whatever reason Angle wants to win it inside, Kurt runs hard into a Lesnar spinebuster and both are down.
Pace gets a jolt when they get up, and Brock is looking to use his size, power, and freaky speed. Lesnar again runs into a shot in the corner, but this time catches Angle coming out with his own overhead belly-to-belly. Then another one. Pincover gets two.
Angle with a German! He keeps the hands locked, hits a second, keeps the hands locked, hits a third, keeps the hands locked, hits a fourth! Angle Slam attempt is countered, F5 attempt is countered, and Kurt has the ankle lock!
Lesnar gets to the rope, but Angle yanks him back to the center. Lesnar rolls over, but Angle doesn’t release, instead moving to a half-crab, taking what Brock gives him and continuing to do damage. Brock finally gets the bottom rope for real and forces the break.
Angle gets dumped over the top on a rush toward Lesnar, and Brock finally has a moment to try and recover a bit. Lesnar winds up thrown with a full backflip on a German suplay when Angle comes back in, though. That gets a big reaction; thus far, honestly, this match has had a sort of “calm interest”; again, long show, and people had been through a lot of emotions over the night with Austin vs Rock 3 right before this, plus Hogan and Vince, plus Michaels vs Jericho, and I guess HHH vs Booker to a degree, too. This show had a fuck-all first half (which you’ll note is where Undertaker was rightfully stuck in a shitty handicap match) and then the second half of the card is just all high-end bangers and Dramatic Situations.
Angle Slam hits! Brock barely gets a shoulder up on the pincover. Angle having one of his stomping tantrums, but as he tries for another Angle Slam, Lesnar counters with an amateur package for two, and then hits the F5! Lesnar covers, Angle with a shoulder up at two! Cole says it’s the first time the F5 has ever been kicked out of, and I think that’s probably true.
As Lesnar tries to pull Angle up, Kurt grabs another ankle lock! Angle pulls it to the center and grapevines the leg. Brock uses his freak strength to drag it to the bottom rope for the break, and when Kurt tries the ankle again, Brock kicks him away.
Lesnar tries the F5, Angle counters with an amateur package for two. Angle Slam blocked, F5 hits again!
Lesnar does not cover. He gets a look on his face, and he heads up top. He hocks a loogey first, then heads up top. Angle is a long way away.
Lesnar goes for the shooting star we’d all heard he Could Do.
He does not make it. He lands on his head.
It is a frightening moment that, ultimately, came out about as OK as possible.
Angle covers quickly in case that’s not the case, and Lesnar gets a shoulder up. They get up, third F5 hits, Lesnar covers, and that’s the match. Brock Lesnar is the new WWE champion.
OK, I could go back and edit the top part and pretend I always just LoOooOOOOOooooooved this match, but I won’t. I think I liked this more now than ever before. Watching in a vacuum helps; sometimes matches are better within their show, sometimes standing alone, and I think this one works best standing alone instead of the last half-hour of a very long and taxing (in a good way, it’s a great show!) event.
Given the state Angle was in, his performance is incredible. Lesnar is fantastic, a guy who just picked things up really quickly, same as Kurt, both of them in part because they’re amazing athletes, and also in part because they just get it. Lesnar didn’t have any great passion for wrestling, but he gets it, and he’s continued to get it more and more since coming back in 2012. And Kurt just took to it like a duck to water, he understood every aspect almost immediately.
There’s a physicality here that isn’t overstated, a bit more subtle than simply trading big shots, and outside of the shooting star botch (that’s the first time in however many posts I’ve ever used that term sincerely, I think), there’s no great flaw. It’s an excellent match, and I’ve just spent 20 years being a fair bit wrong. (I would have predicted a 3.5 from me coming into this viewing.)
Tape Machines Are Rolling 