Gatoh Move ChocoPro, Tokyo, Japan
A request! I have never watched any of this silly ChocoPro shit before, so here we go!
So I have absolutely no reference for any of this. I’m going in cold. It will be as good to me as it is with no emotional attachment or involvement. This is a 30-minute iron man match.
(Requests open and tips always appreciated!)
Pencil begins the match with a short bit of hyperventilation and then gets raggedly shoved over after a collar-and-elbow. Brookes has a huge size advantage and also they are wrestling in what appears to American eyes to be a small preschool classroom or the like, with a “chocolate square” for the mat, no ring or anything, no crowd, in case you’ve never even seen clips or whatever.
They do some basic wrestling early, wristlocks and the like. Brookes easily winning that battle, then Lulu brings a couple of chairs in so they can sit down and trade strikes. Lulu offers herself up for Brookes to take the first shot, so he just kicks her in the shoulder. “I’m just going to say this! The bastard has shown his colors!” The in-room commentary is fascinating.
Lulu calls for a timeout, which apparently is legal. I don’t know. I’m not really overthinking this, by the way. I’m trying to catch the wave of what this is and flow with it. Lulu gets some ice, which she sticks down Brookes’ ass crack when he stops paying attention to her, so that’s her first offense, really.
Brookes presses Pencil against the low ceiling, and he wants a fall for that since technically her shoulders were against a flat surface for a while. Lulu forearms to the chest are useless, but when she dropkicks Brookes in the knee, that works. Lulu bringing a table in now. They’re just, like, over against the wall to bring in. She sets it up leaning against a small open window and climbs up there to do God knows what, but Brookes catches her and suplexes her against the table. He pins, and he’s up 1-0 in about seven minutes.
Brooks continues to dominate with ease, ripping some pieces of paper off the wall and shoving them into Lulu’s face, then dropping her with a forearm. He wants a pin and the referee just says no or whatever. Alright!
Brookes tears the supporter banner off the wall and slams Lulu onto it. It’s just some paper or whatever it’s not really any extra talent. Someone else is dragged in and slammed onto Lulu, then another person. (I don’t know them, they’re probably young wrestlers, but I don’t know them.) Brookes pins Pencil there to go up 2-0 in under 10 minutes. He also wrapped her up in the banner, which was a fun touch.
He throws the banner out the window. There’s also a thing where everything Brookes does like five voices go, “AAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!” which adds a ridiculous sort of, like, “alt-comedy sketch” quality to the whole thing. Like, you know that Netflix comedy show with the guy in the hot dog suit, that everyone constantly posts about where people are screaming a lot? It kinda reminds me of that.
Brookes chokes Lulu with a flagpole. Lulu trying to come back with a guillotine choke, but she’s just too small and weak and Brookes stands it up and just runs her into the wall. Commentator mentions that the referee does have a sort of “mercy rule” option, so at this point the idea may be just for Lulu to not get mercy’d. It’s pretty clear she simply can’t win, but if she can just not get completely skunked.
Brookes breaks some pencils and people go “AAAAHHH!!!!” Lulu breaks one and stabs Brookes in the knee. “Boy that escalated quickly,” etc. Another dropkick takes him down. Commentator laying out some of the story for me — Lulu’s been bullied for 10 months, told she can’t do anything, isn’t really a wrestler. She’s laying in shots and Brookes just ignores them, then obliterates her with a single chop. “The brutality of reality!”
They go outside and the comedic element goes to another level as, I gather through context, they’re not supposed to make noise out there in this neighborhood or whatever, so the commentator starts whispering and the referee is no longer shouting, but Brookes gets sent into the garage door type slider, then gets another section of it lowered onto his wrist. The whispering is slaughtering me.
Back inside and he’s shouting again.
Brookes has some powder, but Lulu knocks it into his face and she grabs an octopus stretch, a signature move of Brookes’. But he gets free before he has to submit or whatever. She tries a pin and he kicks. Lulu wraps him up in the chocolate square and drops a splash from the window, but nobody can see if Brookes’ shoulders are truly, fully down, so the referee can’t count that.
Lulu now on a sink, but Brookes just grabs her off of there, only to get shoved into a leaning table and then having a small basketball or the like bounced off his head. DDT on the hard floor from Lulu! She drops a short splash from the window but Brookes kicks at two.
It doesn’t take long for Brookes to regain the advantage. Pencil’s shots are doing more damage than before, though, because she’s landed some meaningful stuff here. Also stabbed him in the knee. Like, he’s not going down, but he does have to respond more than before.
Lulu gets a bit more hope with combination comedy and submission attempts, but then he starts demolishing her with forearms and the commentator is shouting for it to be stopped. He throws the referee aside, but finally he’s pulled off of Lulu. She’s out on the square, but the referee won’t stop it. She does start a 10-count that Lulu’s going to have to respond to or lose at least another fall.
At 7.5 or so, she starts stirring, and she gets a long count from 9 to get up. Then Brookes rams a chair into the breadbasket to knock her right back down. Brookes sets chairs up and the dude goes “AAAHHHH!!!!” Whatever he wants to do doesn’t happen, though, and instead he gets slammed down onto the chairs on his shoulder. Lulu trying for La Magistral, which eventually she figures out for two, and then stretches the shoulders for a submission, but Brookes is able to grab the edge of the square for the break.
Five minutes left! Lulu with a splash from the window, but Brookes gets his knees up. Referee considering stopping it, but Lulu refuses. Brookes flies in with a cutter for another pin to go up 3-0 about 27 minutes in.
Brookes stretching three limbs at once, basically, but Lulu makes the edge with a foot. That’s largely due to Brookes being 6’4″ on this tiny space. Lulu screams defiantly as Brookes continues to easily dominate the match. Again and she throws her best slap, rocking Brookes and rolling him up for two. Another rollup, another two count. Now she just wants one fall. That’s it. She wants ONE FALL. Another rollup. Another. Another. HUGE near fall on that one!
MASSIVE SHOTGUN DROPKICK FROM BROOKES! He tries to truly finish her, but his shoulder gives, and Lulu gets the octopus on again! The shoulder is shot, and there’s not much time left. Brookes pulls her free and spins her, but another rollup AND SHE GETS A FALL! EVERYONE LOSES THEIR FUCKING MIND! Seconds later, the bell sounds.
Brookes wins 3-1. But the story is not that Brookes won. He was always going to win. There was no shot for him to actually lose. But Lulu Pencil did not get so badly routed that they had to stop it. No mercy rule. No mercy stoppage. No knockout. And she got a fall in just before the end, finally doing just enough damage, inch by inch, to pin Brookes’ shoulders down once within 30 minutes.
The post-match is … tender. It’s not oversold or exaggerated, which is weird to say because Lulu is in tears. Brookes tells her that she is, in fact, a pro wrestler.
As I said, I had never watched Gatoh Move at all that I can remember, never watched a ChocoPro ep or match or anything. I learned this match’s story through the match, with the commentator dropping just enough that through his voice, you could easily learn what they were doing in there. I’ve also never really been a big Chris Brookes fan, in all honesty. Just never really “done it” for me.
But man I was all-in by the last 10 minutes, and then by the last three, I was more “in” than I would have possibly imagined.
Thank you for this request. A change of pace and something unique and special.
Tape Machines Are Rolling 