ECW One Night Stand, New York, NY
More like Two Night Stand, folks, am I right, where’s the lie? Requested via Ko-fi.
The second One Night Stand didn’t have the energy of the first one for a lot of reasons. One, just because it’s a sequel. Two, because it was less about the great fun of an ECW reunion and more about “launching” the “new” “ECW” “brand,” which “predictably fucking sucked” after this show. But I remember enjoying this match, and the show was good, too.
The setup is just for Edge and Mick Foley vs Terry Funk and Tommy Dreamer. ECW boss Paul Danger had taken great offense to Foley and Edge claiming to be the greatest hardcore wrestlers ever and all that, “prostituting” the name of “hardcore” or whatever, and he recruited Tommy Dreamer and a nearly 62-year-old Terry Funk to do his fighting for him against these two.
Foley’s out first to be a real jerk to the ECW fans, something he did very well over his career. He’s reverting back to a lot of his late ’95 stuff, before he left ECW to become Mankind, and the rest was history, as they say. Foley says he respected ECW when it was owned by a creative genius, Stephanie McMahon. “Long live The Alliance!”
Edge and Lita out. Some jokes about Lita being a big hoe! Edge works the mic a bit. The reaction is probably not entirely as fevered as they might have hoped, but it does eat up some time and gets a chant about Lita having herpes. Lita talks! Never a great idea. Here, she hits her incredible line, “Let’s talk about Terry Funk and Tommy Dreamer, the innovator of silence!” She calls out “that skank (Dreamer) hangs around” in a clumsy fashion that doesn’t really work with the rest of the line, but it got Beulah mentioned all the same.
Beulah is out with Tommy and Terry, and she takes the mic to get on Lita’s ass and make a 3-on-3 challenge. Taz reacts like, “Oh, yeah!” and Joey Styles immediately and quite reasonably notes that it might not be a great idea for Beulah more than Lita, who is a former WWE women’s champion.
This is, then, Beulah’s first match in eight-and-a-half years. Dreamer and Edge start proper, Dreamer gets the better of things, and Edge tags out quickly. Foley wants Funk, and Funk’s happy to oblige. Terry slaps Foley in the face repeatedly, and Foley turns to his corner to say, “This was not a good idea. I don’t want to be here.” He goes to leave, but Funk doesn’t let him get to the apron, even. And the match continues as normal from there, meaning this is a pretty useless added story beat from Foley.
Foley gets a garbage can dropkicked into his skull, and it’s pure chaos brawling from there, fully focused on the dudes, with Beulah and Lita just kinda standing around on the apron. Funk gets the helicopter ladder spot in, then they set the ladder up with Funk climbing all the way up, probably for a moonsault, but instead he just takes the big bump when Edge pushes it over.
Plywood and barbed wire! The big board gets dropped on Dreamer. They go for another board drop and Funk cuts them off, with the table falling on Foley and Edge. The women continue to stand around; well, Beulah does, Lita is checking on Edge. “We want fire” chant from the crowd. Taz is greatly amused by the ECW fans. Crackwhores, fire, they’ll chant for anything!
Double jabs from Dreamer and Funk on Foley, who gets his back whipped into the board and wire, and his hair is stuck in it. Edge gets in to help, but walks into big lefts from Funk. Edge is busted open a bit. Funk gets the wire board dropped on him and he’s buried under it.
Foley asking Lita for something, and it’s more barbed wire from under the ring to wrap around his arm. Funk’s all torn up from the wire and Foley makes it worse. Funk bleeding from the head and arm, doing his old, wild drama, screaming about the specific pains he is in. Foley raking Funk’s head with the wire and Funk screams about his eye. “No! My eye, God, Mick! My eye! My eye!”
The WWE medical people get Funk carried off to the back. The crowd immediately start chanting, “We want Sandman!”
Foley has a barbed wire bat now. After a bat shot, Lita finally actually does anything, coming in to legdrop the bat onto Dreamer’s balls. That guy has had more testicle-based offense done to him than anyone ever, and may have also dished out more testicle-based offense than anyone ever. Tommy Dreamer’s career is truly about balls.
Foley gets Socko out but puts it on Beulah. Dreamer forgets his ball injury and rushes over, but is quickly neutralized. Socko on Dreamer now, leaving him prone for an Edge spear. Foley wants the cover there, but Edge has other ideas as he stalks over to Beulah. He makes it all very sexual. Lita loves it. They stand around waiting for a bandaged Funk to come back through the crowd very slowly with a barbed wire two-by-four.
Dreamer nutshots Foley and Edge both, Beulah chases Lita, and also helps Funk get his stick set on fire. Foley takes the fire stick shots, and winds up going through the barbed wire board at ringside. Foley gets fire extinguished to be safe, then Edge runs in and knocks Funk off the apron and onto Foley.
But here comes Dreamer! DDT! He’s got a little circle of wire, wraps it it around Edge’s throat, and tries to choke him out. Lita makes the save, Beulah gets in there, Joey gets to scream “catfight, catfight!” Lita gets the better of it, fair enough, but here comes Dreamer again! Spicolli Driver on Lita! “Drop the bitch!” Taz screams.
But here comes Edge with the wire to Dreamer’s eyes! Spear for Beulah! Sexual pin on Beulah, that’s the match. Stephen DeAngelis announces the winners as “the team of Edge and Mick Foley,” but officially this is counted as a trios with the ladies involved, especially since one of them did take the pinfall.
A sort of mesh between the classic stylings of ECW and the, like, “subgenre” WWE stylings that ECW so clearly influenced, and also, again, this show is the launching point for a WWE ECW “brand,” and the whole show is sort of painted with those strokes. But they got to do about everything the real ECW ever did, too. Bloody, barbed wire, fire, women being beaten up by dudes both dastardly and heroic, all the big stuff.
Tape Machines Are Rolling 
IIRC, one of Mick’s younger two sons was doing some sort of recital or something, got scared, and said the whole “this was a bad idea. I don’t want to be here” thing so Mick decided to do it in the match even if it didn’t make any sense.