Roman Reigns vs John Cena (WWE, 8-21-2021)

WWE SummerSlam, Paradise, NV

Not the world’s biggest fan of either of these guys, but their track records for delivering in big matches speak for themselves, particularly Cena, but Reigns is building his own legacy, too. Cena going for a “record” 17 world titles, which I do think is fair. Yeah, Ric Flair has 21 in reality, but a handful of those are horseshit changes that nobody acknowledged back in the day, either, because they were horseshit.

These boys have only ever had the one televised singles match ever at No Mercy 2017, which is pretty wild when you think about it, because it’s not like Cena avoided interaction with The Shield back when. But WWE knew what they were going to do with Reigns from the get-go when they made it to TV in 2012, too, or at least had the inkling, the vision of what they wanted to do with him. So they didn’t waste that. That’s crazy for modern WWE, crazier still that it took nine years and Cena being essentially semi-retired for them to have THE big match. I mean, as exciting as going third from the top at No Mercy is, this is more what they probably had in mind.

The Usos come out with Reigns and Heyman, but Roman advises Paul to advise them to dip. Cena absolutely looks his age, looks as checked out as he is from this life. It’s sort of like a reverse of when The Rock came back and was so jacked to fuck compared to his wrestling career. Cena has absolutely loss mass, everything about him is leaner, his hair is all grown out because he has to do real life shit after this pit stop.

McAfee: “Cena in his patented jorts.” They make a note of Cena’s first bump, and Cena goes for an early roll-up to put the focus on his pre-match hype, that all he needs is a three count to ruin Roman Reigns. They do another one and talk some shit. Cena has that arrogance of an old legend, someone who believes his era was so much better, that this Roman Reigns chap is simply no real match for him, hasn’t been to the heights and depths John Cena has. He thinks he’ll be able to put it all together and beat this guy, there’s no question in his mind. It’s a neat character play from Cena.

Cena keeps going for roll-ups, which is smart because it’s basically the best finisher in modern WWE. But when it starts getting physical, he sells as an old guy who hasn’t been here in a while. Reigns is in his same rhythm as always, Cena has to get accustomed to it again. And it’s hard to do that.

Reigns is dominating early on, once he really nails Cena with a good shot and gets him reeling a bit, he just takes over entirely. Cena can’t get untracked. But that leads to Reigns getting a little too wrapped up in how easy this is, and makes him vulnerable to those quick pin attempts. Still, it’s hard to actually keep Roman down for three like that.

Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Reigns counters with a DDT and goes for a pin. The worst thing the ThunderDome era brought to WWE was these fucking mid-match monologues from Roman Reigns. I know others do it, too, but he’s by far the worst offender. Shut the fuck up and grab a nervehold if you need to kill time.

Cena gets one little flurry of quick offense but Reigns grabs the guillotine. Cena does get out of that, but runs right into a Superman punch. Roman runs into a kick from the head that finally really staggers him good, and Cena follows with the five knuckle and the AA, then the STF when the AA can’t finish it, but Reigns gets the ropes.

I’ve never felt as old as I do looking at this screenshot and knowing that’s John Cena with the Arn Anderson Galoob bald spot:

John Cena, the rapping phenomenon of 2003, the upstart challenging Brock Lesnar (also very young!) for the WWE championship at Backlash.

That downed Cena does catch Roman charging with an AA through the commentary desk. He rushes it back into the ring and goes for the pin, but doesn’t get it, and Reigns gets rolling again. Cena dodges the Superman punch, another rollup gets two, and another AA attempt is blocked. Superman punch gets two. Now Roman is ACTING! again.

Reigns’ big spear run sees him shouldering the LED post. Cena awkwardly runs over and can’t seem to remember what he’s gonna do, but gets Roman up top for a super AA, and it hits, with John straining every muscle in his body to get the dead weight Roman up and over. It only gets two what’s it gonna taaaake etc

Cena sets for a finisher steal by going for Reigns’ spear, but they just wind up trading punches. Superman punch, spear, and Reigns retains and shockingly does not have to leave WWE.

Just as Reigns is about to stand over Cena and mock him with a stolen taunt, Brock Lesnar’s music hits, and there he is, absolutely fucking MASSIVE, like country hoss huge, not ripped up but just a fucking giant boar of a man. Reigns’ reaction is terrific. There’s a subtle shock on his face when the music starts, but he tries to hide it quickly. When he sees Lesnar is really there, he knows he has to deal with a guy who has historically given him hell.

Heyman is good here, as tired as his act has gotten, basically acting like his wife caught him cheating two towns over from home. He’s a mess of emotion. Reigns doesn’t back down, he doesn’t run, and Lesnar isn’t necessarily there to fight, he’s not coming out here to throw hands with Roman. He’s here to disrupt something. As he stands there in his big boy blue jeans basically daring Reigns to do anything about him ruining the champ’s moment, he seems amused with himself. It’s mentally aggressive. Reigns leaves with Heyman, and as he turns to walk to the back, the anger grows on his face. He just got embarrassed. This rules because it is nothing other than giant onion head Brock Lesnar fucking up raging egomaniac Roman’s hashtag moment. Reigns didn’t even get time to gloat over Cena’s battered body.

The match is good. Cena doesn’t have the fastball that he used to, but he can throw enough solid junk still to have a good outing, and that’s kinda what they did here. They paced it well enough that you only noticed how much slower Cena is if you are in the minority who pays close attention to that sort of shit, but it’s worked in a way that rewards you for being in that minority, too. Reigns is in a career groove, not a flawless wrestler, but a guy who’s carrying a “brand” in an era that needs a rock like that, because as much as WWE say they are not in the pro wrestling business, what they’re really not in the business of anymore, and haven’t been since Cena, is creating true individual superstars (not Superstars™), because they don’t really want anyone having that sort of leverage. Allowing them the conceit that they are an Entertainment Media Brand Product Genre Company and not a pro wrestling company, they also clearly are comfortable being truly niche, and staying that way.

Rating: 3.5/5