Mickie Knuckles vs Dale Patricks (Flophouse, 1-4-2021)

Flophouse Private Stash #2, Indianapolis, IN

Here is another wrestling match, from a show, with Mickie Knuckles. I do know Dale Patricks a bit, never left a massive impression on me but that means neither good nor bad, really, and I also haven’t seen him a ton and he’s probably gotten better since the last time I did.

This is that laid back sort of weed humor wrestling that is very much not for me, by which I don’t just mean it’s not something I like so much, but I literally mean it’s not for me. This is not made for me. I am not the target audience. For this, I am old. I accept that.

But if the matches rule, I can put aside whatever else. The story here, which the commentary helps me out with, is that Dale Patricks is trying to stand up for the green kids at Flophouse because Mickie is a bully. So this is Mickie as Necro Butcher and Dale Patricks as Samoa Joe.

I am fine with this because they’re just beating the shit out of each other immediately. I do not know if so many camera cuts are needed, is this the W.W.E.? Is this the film Bohemian Rhapsody?

Both take their shirts off to trade chops. These are serious chops by serious choppers. Mickie does a loopy stagger sell on a big foot to the jaw, but fires back before Patricks suplexes her on the apron.

This, uh, rules. And then Mickie does the straddling headbutts deal after some ferocious chops. More fighting, then Knuckles headbutts the man in the groin and balls and bites his johnson penis while he’s hung up in the TREEAWOE! Patricks gets chained to a weight bench and Knuckles takes a bat to his back, then puts on a batter’s helmet, eats half a donut, and sticks the other half in his ass hole. This is unrealistic; you are not putting half a floppy donut up nobody’s ass hole.

Then, with the helmet still on, she runs across the building for a running headbutt to his ass. Listen, a lot is happening. OBVIOUSLY the ass donut winds up in her mouth.

Great, now they’re climbing a wooden staircase. They tease a balcony fall but then head back down. The match eventually ends on an attempted hot tub drowning with people having to pull Mickie off of Patricks. Cinematic wrestling wishes it were this batshit insane. She gets thrown out, but manages to come back and try to kill Dale some more before they get — and lock — her out a second time.

Well I like “Flophouse Wrestling” now, it would appear. This was fucking wild, like, legitimately. There’s really good, hateful fighting here, there’s absolutely weird bullshit, there’s a lot going on. I had a good time.

Rating: 3.5/5