WWE Royal Rumble, New York, NY
This was the Royal Rumble where everyone got on the subway in their underpants. And Ric Flair’s career is still ON THE LINE.
Flair’s go the gold robe. Michael Cole tells us about Ric Flair’s pro debut in 1972 against George Gadaski. Cole’s on commentary with Jonathan Coachman, who tries to sound like he has anything to say. This match kicks off the show at MSG.
Flair’s on the mic after he comes to the ring. “WOO! I want to tell you once again what a great honor it has been to wrestle all these years in Madison Square Garden. They say there’s no place like it anywhere in the world, and I almost have to agree. I had my first match here in March of 1976. Long before most of you were born. And I have to tell you, I have to tell you, that the level of respect that you have paid me all these years is unbelievable. And I want you all to know–“
Then he’s cut off by MVP’s music. MVP is the United States champion but that’s not on the line here. MVP gets basically zero reaction.
Flair jogs a bit, struts a bit, and then locks up. Side headlock from MVP, he’s sent off the ropes and shoulders Flair down, then hits a pose. So Flair woos at him.
C&E and MVP pushes Flair to the corner. MVP breaks clean and does a basketball taunt. Coachman keeps stumbling trying to make points, then eventually he just gives up on trying to make one. Coachman was never, ever even competent.
Flair with chops in the corner, right and left hands, and a chop puts MVP down. More chops. Side headlock, Flair off the ropes, he shoulders MVP down. Flair hits the ropes again, MVP with a drop toehold. MVP with a running boot to the face.
Slow neckbreaker from MVP, cover gets one. MVP mounts and pummels. Cover gets one. Flair up with a chop, but MVP attacks in the corner with a right hand and a snapmare, then he holds a chinlock with a lazy chickenwing. “MVP sucks” chant.
MVP to the corner with rights and lefts. Whip to the other corner, and Flair gets an elbow up on the charge. Chop block from Flair, he goes for the figure four but MVP kicks him away. Flair back up quick with a chop, MVP to a side headlock, but Flair busts the knee. Flair goes for the figure four again, MVP with a sloppy cradle for two.
MVP with elbows and rights in the corner. Flair with chops fighting back. MVP with boots to the gut and Flair sits down in the corner. MVP backs off, then comes back and picks Flair up for a forearm and whip to the other side. Flair bounces out into a backdrop.
Flair staggers to the corner, MVP hits a running boot there. Flair flops down, cover gets two — well, three, but Flair’s foot is on the bottom rope and Charles Robinson sees that. Flair rolls MVP up for two.
MVP with a clothesline, more punches to the head. Another cover gets two. MVP with a butterfly suplex, which Flair had busted out in his last televised match with HHH. Cover gets two.
MVP picks Flair up and sets him on the top turnbuckle, then delivers some right hands. MVP going for a superplex from the second rope, and it hits. Flair with the “AH! AHH!” selling and MVP covers for two again.
MVP with slaps and he gets Flair up in a fireman’s carry, but Flair, uh, falls off. MVP has to wait for him to get up and Flair delivers more chops. Whip to the corner, then they collide on a clothesline and both go down.
“If he’s going to be forced to retire under Mr. McMahon’s edict, I sure hope it isn’t by somebody as brash and bold and self-confident as MVP!”
- Why?
- Real subtle, Mike.
Flair with an inside cradle for two. Flair with a backslide for two. Chop. Right hand. Chop. Right hand. Chop, chop, chop. Flair strutting and fired up, as much as he can be. MVP tags him with a shot and then hits a jawbreaker over the knee.
MVP goes for the Playmaker, but Flair counters and gets the figure four locked on. MVP taps out.
Rating: 2/5. Another frankly lousy match in this run. I can’t get into these matches on any level, and God knows I love Ric Flair. I still think he’s the GOAT. But he had absolutely nothing physically left in the tank for these matches. They’re clumsy, ugly, and sloppily structured. It’s like watching Ric Flair impersonate a zonked out Von Erich just doing signature shit at random points until they get to the agreed upon finish time and then they do the agreed upon finish. Fuck, man.
Tape Machines Are Rolling 
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