WWF RAW, Boston, MA
The Network guide has the summary right for this post: “As the final battle between The Alliance and WWE approaches, The Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin come face-to-face.” But you can’t actually watch this segment in full on the Network! You have to find it on YouTube.
Rock is your WCW champion, having just defeated William Regal in a t-shirt and breakaway pants. Rock was in those, I mean. So he gets the mic after the match.
“Cut The Rock’s music! The Rock knows there’s someone in the back who HATES The Rock. Someone in the back who said he can WHOOP THE ROCK’S ASS, any time! So The Rock says, Stone Cold Steve Austin — JUST BRING IT!”
Backstage, WWF champion Stone Cold Steve Austin is WALKING. We go to commercial break and then return.
Austin’s music hits and he’s on his way to the ring. They circle each other, and stare down. They go face-to-face. “Perhaps the two greatest rivals in the history of sports-entertainment,” JR says. “In the history of the WWF.”
Rock takes over.
“We go back to WrestleMania. The Rock has not forgotten about WrestleMania. The Rock has not forgotten about the very next night on RAW. And The Rock has not forgotten that earlier tonight, you said you can WHOOP The Rock’s ass. And all this talk before Survivor Series about you being the one to jump to the WWF, well The Rock hopes that it’s you that jumps to the WWF, because that means you’ll be employed by the WWF, and that means that The Rock is gonna whoop your candy ass in the WWF!”
Austin looks away, and sort of down, but he’s not intimidated. Just glaring sideways.
“Not only whoop your ass in the WWF, but beat you for the WWF title.” Rock is circling around a motionless Austin. “The Rock will never, ever forget. And another thing The Rock didn’t forget is FINALLY The Rock has come back–“
Austin snatches the mic.
“You expect me to stand there while you’re flappin’ your little gums? Sayin’ you didn’t forget this, you didn’t forget that, I’m supposed to stand there and let you breathe all over me? I think what you were trying to say is FINALLY, STONE COLD–“
Rock snatches the mic back. There’s a great tension between them. Rock raises the mic, then drops it. Crowd chants “Rocky.”
“FINALLY, The Rock HAS COME–“
Austin takes the mic again.
“Rocky, Rocky, Rocky, Rocky, Rocky. Correct me if I’m wrong but what I think what you were trying to say is, FINALLY, Stone Cold HAS COME–“
Rock takes it back.
“You don’t understand something. You don’t come out, grab the Rock’s mic, when The Rock has time to talk. You don’t say what The Rock says. You don’t see The Rock saying what, what, what, what, WHAT, WHAT, WHAT. WHAT? WHAT?“
“What? What? What? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? You don’t like what I’m sayin’, maybe I’ll try this: and that’s the bottom line, ’cause Stone–“
“Wh-wh-wh-wh-WHAT? You don’t see The Rock comin’ out here sayin’ all that stupid crap.”
They circle each other again, Austin looking tensed and ready to throw down, or at least with the belief Rock’s gonna.
“I got one thing to say to you –“
Rock takes the mic again.
“We’ve been this close for five minutes, and The Rock can honestly say for some particular reason, your breath smells like strudel!”
“Well I been–“
“As a matter of fact, it doesn’t smell like strudel, now The Rock realizes what it smells like, it smells like a big steaming, stinking piece of dog turd!”
“You think you’re funny? Insulting me like that? Does it make you feel good? Does it? Does it make you feel more like a human being? Does it make you feel special? Does it make you feel proud? I can say right now, Rock, I’ve heard you talk about me before. You said, yeah, Stone Cold Steve Austin you come out there with your beer belly. You call that a beer belly. He called that a beer belly! That ain’t no beer belly, that’s a fuel tank for a whoopass machine, and I’m about to open up a can on your ass right now! That would be the easy thing to do. That would be the obvious thing to do. The hard thing for me to do, Rock,” he puts his hand on Rock’s shoulder. Rock removes it. “Don’t touch me. Please don’t touch me. The hard thing is to come out here — do you mind? I’m trying to get across a real special point here. It hurts my feelings when you do that. I said it hurts my feeling when he talks like that! It hurts my feelings, it hurts my feelings a lot. You s-s-s…you ssssumbitch! It’d be easy for us to come out here and fight, but I’ve found out in the past that a good little song has always — don’t ever pull away from me. A little song might kinda ease the tension. So maybe I’ll sing ya a song right here and now to ease the tension between The Rock and Stone Cold Steve Austin.
“You remember that old rock band called Boston? Rock n’ roll? Boston? You remember the band? Well I don’t remember the words to any of their songs right now so I’ll sing you a little favorite that my dad used to sing to me back when I was a kid. I’m gonna sing it to you to make things between us a little less tense. Also songs go out to a little boy there in San Antonio, Texas, with a busted leg, little Jimmy Barris, this song’s for you, too. Goes a little like this. Hope this clears things up between you and me. ‘Delta dawn, what’s that flower you have on? Could it be a faded rose from days gone BYYYYY? And did I hear you say he was meetin’ you here today take you to his mansion in the skyyyyyyyy?’ That make you feel better?”
Rock gives it the 50/50 and snatches the mic back.
“Rock appreciates you trying to ease the tension. Appreciates that! He appreciates entertainment. How about, how about The Rock sing a song to you? You’re from Texas! You like that country music! Here ya go. ‘You got to know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em, know when to walk away, know when to run. You never count your money when you’re sittin’ at the table, there’ll be time enough for countin’ when the dealin’s done!’ That make you feel any better?”
“I feel like crap.”
“The Rock got it, how about this, how about this. You’re gonna feel great, The Rock’s gonna feel great, they’re gonna feel great. You and The Rock — how about we sing a song together? Any song you want!”
“You wanna sing a duet with Stone Cold Steve Austin, that’s what you’re saying?”
“Does Boston wanna hear The Rock and Stone Cold sing?”
“Lemme put it like this. If you wanna hear The Rock and Stone Cold sing a duet together, give me a hell yeah! WHAT? WHAT? You want a duet, you got a duet. So since I sing country music –” Austin aggressively clears his throat. “Let me warm up a little more. Maybe this’ll bring back a few memories. I’ll catch it about midway through. Anybody who’s anybody knows who Jimmy Buffett is. Goes like this. ‘I blew out my flip flop, stepped on a pop top, cut my heel had to cruise on back home. But there’s booze in the blender, and soon it will render, that frozen concoction that helps me hang on.'”
They sing together.
“‘Wasted away again in Margaritaville! Searchin’ for my lost shaker of salt!”
Austin goes solo.
“Some people claim that there’s a Rocky to blaaaaame, but I know–“
“It’s old Stone Cold’s fault!”
They shake hands and hug. They raise each others’ hands. Rock has the mic.
“Oh by the way. By the way. The Rock will never, EVER forget!”
ROCK BOTTOM! Rock hammers down on Austin, and Kurt Angle runs in to go after Rock! Here comes Chris Jericho with a chair, and he’s fighting Angle and Austin. Jericho clotheslines Angle out, Rock punches Austin out, Jericho has the chair, and Rock has his back turned. Jerich doesn’t swing. They are Team WWF, in spite of their differences. Rock’s music plays, RAW ends.
Rating: NR. One of the silliest, goofiest segments in WWE history, you could argue it as counterproductive, or you could argue it as pure goofy 2001 post-Invasion entertainment. Both have their merits. Maybe you don’t do this BEFORE the big WWF vs Invasion storyline settles, but at that point the whole thing was all but dead, anyway, so whatever. The Rock and Stone Cold sang in Boston. “Delta Dawn” was part of WWF TV for a weird moment. Works for me.
Tape Machines Are Rolling 
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