The Rock vs Hulk Hogan (WWE, 2-23-2003)

WWE No Way Out, Montreal, Quebec, Canada

This is a request via Ko-fi. Oddly, I was just thinking about this match recently, before I got the request. The year before at WrestleMania X8, Rock and Hogan tore the house down in one of the all-time special WrestleMania atmospheres. A year later, Rock was a Hollywood heel, Hogan was in the red-and-yellow again, and it was time for the rematch, the month before Mania.

Piece of shit Vince hasn’t ponied up for “Voodoo Chile” on WWE Network so we get a terrible generic stock track instead with bad piped in crowd noise.

Rock slips out of the ring so Hogan can pose and whatnot, acting all taken aback that the crowd prefers Hulk to him. Rock tries to sneak up on Hogan but fails, and then when he tries to throw a right hand, Hogan blocks and drops him, and Rock goes out to the floor and kills some time. And then kills some more time. Hogan finally goes outside after Rock, lands a couple right hands. Rock back in, and he catches Hogan coming in with a kick.

Another kick, and a right puts Hogan down. Hogan up, he bumps again on a right hand. Hulkster is here to work brother HH. Michael Cole VERY CASUALLY points out Referee Sylvain Grenier who reffed a match on Sunday Night Heat. If you really wanted a surprise ref thing you’d probably just not mention the referee out of nowhere at all, but hey, I’m no Creative Genius.

Anyway, Hogan spit punches Rock and sends him out to the floor again. Hogan goes over to the ropes when Rock starts coming back in, but Rock yanks him down throat-first over the top rope, and enters the ring easily as a result.

Rock setting for the Rock Bottom. He doesn’t want to waste any more time. Hogan gets a whopping two or so inches off the ground on the Rock Bottom, but Hulk kicks out. Rock puts Hogan’s bandana on. Rock removes Hogan’s weight belt and gives him YAPAPI STRAPATION NUMBER ONE. Then YAPAPI STRAPATION NUMBER TWO. Three, four. Rock gets a bottle of water and spits it out, but Hogan’s up and clotheslines Rock down.

Now Hulk has the belt. Strapation! Strapation! Strapation! More strapping! I’m trying to make this sound exciting! It’s not, really!

Anyway, Rock turns it around again and gets the sharpshooter on. One of the better sharpshooters of Rock’s career, which isn’t saying much, and is wild because it’s on no-flexibility ass Hogan. Hogan’s arm drops once, twice, but not thrice. Hogan bridges up and Rock flies off to the floor for some reason.

Hogan out to the floor, hobbling around. Rock comes around the other side and Hogan takes a one-legged bump on the floor. Hogan’s head bounced off the Spanish desk. Rock grabs a chair, swings and misses, hitting the post. Hogan with a right, right, gets the chair, hits Rock in the lower back. Hogan trying to play to the crowd, but the enthusiasm is iffy.

Hogan brings the chair into the ring, Referee Grenier tries to take it away, and Rock slips in a low blow. Rock goes for the people’s elbow, hits it, and then he bounces back up and delivers a second, including a Hogan pose before the drop. Two count.

And here’s the Hulk Up. Moderate reaction. YOOOUUUU. Blocked right, right, right, right, Rock off the ropes, boot, taunt, taunt, taunt, off the ropes, legdrop hits. One, two, lights out. IT’S SABU! (It’s not Sabu.)

Lights come back on and the referee is down along with Rock. Chair by Grenier. Vince comes out on the stage and acts overly puzzled, then smiles and makes his way to ringside. “You screwed Bret” chant. Not a huge one but noticeable.

Referee “wakes up” briefly and slides Rock the chair. Rock cracks Hogan in the skull! “This is a swerve and a half!” Hogan busted open. Old Man Hogan loved to blade, brother HH. Rock sets for the Rock Bottom again. Hogan staggers up and turns around into the Rock Bottom. Hogan got up for that one as much as he could, to his credit. Grenier suddenly back to life and he counts the three. “This is a damn screwjob!”

Rating: 1.5/5. It had about one-fiftieth the atmosphere of the Mania match in ’02, and as a result you are just left with some bad wrestling and a finish befitting a B-PPV that is meant to set up Mania XIX, which on one level is fine because that’s what this is, but on the other this was THE BIGGEST REMATCH IN HISTORY and all that and it just never felt very big. It felt like a throwaway match in 2003 and still does in 2018. And the Montreal Screwjob callback AGAIN stunk. Hogan felt way more up for this match than Rock did, honestly. I don’t know. I get what they were going for, but it never clicked.