John Cena vs Shawn Michaels (WWE, 4-23-2007)

WWE RAW, London, England

This is a Ko-fi request. I’ve never watched this match before; it was during a time when I wasn’t doing more than keeping tabs on wrestling, and I’ve never been particularly inclined to watch a 56-minute Shawn Michaels match. Cena is WWE champion but this is a non-title rematch from WrestleMania 23.

Cena’s still in his post-Marine phase where he wore the little hat and kissed his meaningless dog tags. I hated this Cena. Hated him.

Michaels starts with shoulder rams in the knuckle lock, then twists the arm and takes Cena over. Cena counters and they’re both back up. C&E, Michaels into a side headlock. Into a hammerlock. Into a side headlock takeover. Cena counters again and they’re back up again.

Michaels with a wristlock takeover, slides into a pin and gets a quick count. Cena looks to take Michaels down with the STFU, which Michaels tapped to at Mania, but Michaels escapes and Cena says he was thisclose. C&E into a side headlock again from Michaels. Again, Cena goes for the STFU, doesn’t get it, but was thisclose.

Cena taunting Michaels a little. Waistlock from Michaels, Cena trying to trip the leg, then goes to break the hands at his waist. Cena reverses the waistlock and gets a nice takedown, again looks for the STFU. Michaels talks shit in Cena’s face, shoves him a bit, then slaps him. Cena with a right hand, Micahels drops, and Cena is ready to rumble. Michaels…isn’t. Commercial break.

Back from the break and they’re still staring it down and jawing across the ring. Cena is still ready with his dukes up, but he’s willing to go back to the scientific bullshit. Cena with a side headlock. Michaels trying to fight out but Cena’s too strong for Shawn to break the hold. Cena with a cover in the headlock, two count. As JR notes, Michaels outwrestled Cena early at WrestleMania, but here it’s Cena making adjustments and doing a much better job in the early going.

Michaels punching out of the headlock, Cena off the ropes and hits a hard shoulder to put Michaels down. Back to the headlock. Another quick count, staying in the headlock. Michaels stands it up and looks to forearm out again. Cena off the ropes again, Michaels goes for a hiptoss, but Cena blocks and hits a short clothesline for two.

Now to a chinlock. Cena sent off the ropes a third time, and this time Michaels follows Cena to the ropes with a back elbow. Kick to the head from Michaels. Ram into the top turnbuckle. Chop from Michaels. Ram into the turnbuckle on the other side. Michaels yells at a fan or the timekeeper or someone. “Hey! Wake up! Pay attention!”

Michaels with some more shots. Cena in the corner, Michaels with another chop. Whip to the other side, Cena gets a boot up on the charge and hits another clothesline, this one with a head of steam. Cover, Michaels kicks out, and Cena goes back to the headlock.

Out of that, and Cena with a shoulderblock. Cena almost runs into Sweet Chin Music, but Michaels gets dumped out to the floor going for the FU. Cena again indicates he was thisclose. Commercial break.

Back from the break and guess what? Cena has a headlock on. Michaels doesn’t break clean in the corner, landing a punch and a chop. Elbow from Michaels. Another one. Snapmare from Michaels, then a stomp to the face. Cena rammed into the turnbuckle. Another chop. Another chop. Cena back with a right hand to the stomach. Another chop from Michaels, Cena fighting back with clubbing right hands. Cena off the ropes, drop down from Shawn, Cena catches him with a powerslam for two.

Michaels into the corner, bounces out and into a fisherman-sorta suplex for two. Cena hovering over Shawn and calling spots. Kick to the gut, off the ropes with the rolling neckbreaker deal, loose as all hell, two count again. Michaels and Cena both up, trading shots again. Michaels working with chops, Cena with the clubbing rights. Michaels gets the better of it, but a whip is reversed and Cena hits a backdrop. Cover gets two again.

Cena goes for a suplex, Michaels slides down and hits a quick swinging neckbreaker. Trading shots again, chops and right hands. Michaels wins the battle again. Another whip reversed, but Michaels explodes off the ropes with the flying forearm. Both men down, and we’re waiting on the Michaels kip-up. Count reaches six and Michaels kips up. Cena up, too. Inverted atomic drop and a right from Michaels, another right, scoop slam. Michaels’ crappy back gives on him a bit.

But Shawn is going up top anyway. Flying elbow hits! Michaels sets for Sweet Chin Music, but Cena is ready to counter. Michaels ducks that and gets a backslide for two. Michaels misses a clothesline, but Cena flies into nothing on a shoulderblock attempt, and crashes to the canvas and then out to the floor. Cena selling his arm. Michaels with a slingshot plancha attempt, but Cena catches him in mid-air and sets for a powerslam or something, but Michaels slides down and sends Cena into the steps. Commercial break with both down on the floor.

Back and they’re going at it in the ring, Michaels on the advantage. Some aggressive grappling on the mat, Michaels coming out the better. He grabs a hammerlock and runs Cena into the ringpost, exposed shoulder-first. Michaels busts Cena’s arm over the top rope as Cena tries to get back into the ring. Wristlock from Shawn, and a Mike Enos on the arm.

Hammerlock from Michaels now. Nothing says “we’re going long for the fuck of going long” like a hammerlock over a half hour into a modern match. Michaels pulls the free right arm back, too, and gets a couple of two counts in pinning combinations. Cena with a slam after getting out, he goes for an elbowdrop but misses.

Cena with a clothesline and a couple shoulderblocks, he’s getting back into it. Michaels misses a clothesline, Cena slams him down with a back suplex. U CAN’T C ME. Five knuckle shuffle connects. Cena gets him up for the FU, Michaels slides out, misses the superkick, and CENA HITS THE FU! One, two, NO! Commercial break!

Michaels dumped to the floor when we return, and Cena follows him out. Cena rams him back-first into the ringpost, going after Shawn’s traditional second career weak point, and, well, a weak point for anyone. Back in, cover gets two. Cena with a vertical suplex, cover gets two.

Cena with a bearhug, the absolute worst move in professional wrestling, or so I’ve read. Cena going “AH! AHHH! AH! AHH!” to indicate he’s huggin’ REAL HARD. Michaels elbows to the back to get out. Another chop from Shawn. Chop again. Michaels whips Cena to the other side, reversed, and Michaels takes the Flair flip to the floor. Mike Chioda starts a count, but Cena goes out and breaks the count.

Cena tosses Michaels back into the ring, and John goes up top and hits the guillotine legdrop! One, two, kickout. Cena can’t believe it. What’s it gonna taaaaake??? Cena looks to set Michaels up top, and manages to get him there. Michaels is basically dead weight at this point. Cena with right hands to further soften Shawn, and he’s looking for a super FU. Michaels fights out, Cena tries again, Michaels fights out again and hits a power bomb out of the corner!

Both men down, count is on. It reaches nine before they get up. Cena with the drop toehold, trying for the STFU, but Michaels kicks him away. Cena on the apron, Michaels rams into him and knocks Cena into the commentary desk.

Michaels sets for a piledriver on the steps, but Cena blocks and backdrops Michaels over to the floor, putting more stress on the bad back. Cena rolls back in, commercial break. Back from the break and they’re flat brawling on the commentary desk now. It’s broken down some.

Back into the ring, Cena immediately gets the STFU! “Michaels is fighting with everything he has! Every gut in his body!” Every single gut, you guys! But it’s locked on in the middle of the ring. Michaels turning to his side to try and relieve the pressure as Cena screams instructions like a n00b, something he’s never stopped doing. Michaels manages to get the bottom rope to break the hold!

Cena up, waiting on Michaels. Shawn slowly pulls himself up on the ropes, goes for Sweet Chin Music, blocked, FU attempt, SWEET CHIN MUSIC HITS! Michaels can’t cover immediately, but he does the Patented Shawn Michaels Dramatic Arm Drape and gets a two count, Cena getting his hand on the bottom rope.

Both men stay down, referee doesn’t count this time, because whatever, I guess. They both struggle up in the corner, Cena leaning on the ropes, Michaels leaning on Cena. Chop from Michaels. But oh they’re so tired. Right hand from Cena. But oh they’re so tired. Chop from Michaels. Another chop. Whip to the corner is reversed. Michaels with a Flair flip, Cena goes for the FU again, Sweet Chin Music again, he falls into the cover! One, two, three!

Rating: 4/5. It’s a really good match, probably a great match in most respects, but I don’t love Shawn Michaels and the Shawn Michaels clichés the way some people do, and Cena is generally fighting an uphill battle with me, too, at least for most of his career, and during this period, definitely. It is long for the sake of being long, Michaels Melodramatic toward the end, but there’s not a lot to really complain about besides my own personal dislikes and hang-ups. If you consider this a bona fide classic, I wouldn’t really argue with you. Personally, I like their half-as-long WrestleMania match way more, at least from memory. It’s been a while since I watched it but I remember loving that one, even with some of the same trappings.