From Trenton, New Jersey, at the CURE Insurance Arena, fka Sovereign Bank Arena and Sun National Bank Center! Insane to me that ROH hasn’t been to New Jersey since 2012 and only once since 2009.
I am ready to die before I take part in or even observe any dishonor.
Zero Hour – Pure Rules
Tracy Williams vs Josh Woods
Williams burns two rope breaks really quickly, putting him in a tough spot, but he gets on a really nice run of offense including a good piledriver for two, and Woods uses a rope break. Judges are Christopher Daniels, Jimmy Jacobs, and Jerry Lynn, just three flavors of absolute pervert. Woods gets the comeback, Gorilla Lock, and that’s the third rope break for Williams. Tracy gets German suplayed on the apron. When he tries to get back in, Woods grabs hold of him in the ropes for the submission. Rock solid pure rules match. 3/5
Zero Hour
Darius Martin & Action Andretti vs The Workhorsemen
Martin & Andretti are the Eddie & Tajiri of our time. I’m not talking about ability. Workhorsemen are a good team and while ROH is probably the ceiling for them as far as TV promotions go, it is good that they are least getting to make their mark in ROH, because they’re plenty good enough for bigger TV, but it is The Business that it is, and I do get it. As you can see, Action Andretti’s big win over Chris Jericho has shot him right to the top, and it wasn’t Jericho’s story and not his at all. Chris definitely didn’t learn anything from that time he beat Scott Hall on Nitro. The Workhorsemen once again have a Good Showing, In Defeat. 3/5
Zero Hour
Trish Adora vs Leyla Hirsch
Leyla got that big old knee brace, doesn’t seem to have fully adjusted to it yet. It’s happened before, it takes time. Big fan of both and think this could be a great style clash once they gain familiarity with one another, but I kind of expect choppiness here. Hirsch with some nastiness to the knee of Adora. I like Leyla because she’s a motherfucker. Adora’s rally is good, but Leyla gets her to make a mistake and just lays in with a kick and a vicious basement dropkick in the corner. This doesn’t even have the choppiness I thought it might, and yeah, man, these two are going to do something really, really great against one another someday. You can see the seeds for that. Leyla wins, tries to break Trish’s arm after, and Skye Blue runs in for the save. 3.5/5
Zero Hour
AR Fox vs Shane Taylor
I’m sure these fellas had a fine one but I’m 35 or 50 or something, I had to go to the john at some point. Here’s this:
Gravity vs Komander
I know nothing about Gravity, really. Neither does PAC!!!!!! Hahaha!!! This looks like you probably expect. Like I expected. Komander’s shooting star is crazy. I’m gonna shock you with some analysis: Gravity and Komander are doing cool things and it’s cool to watch. I’m not going to pretend all of it is perfect or anything, though, because it’s not. Gravity capitalizes on a Komander mistake and wins. Caprice blames Komander for trying too hard to look for “a cool finisher.” Gravity will face PAC Wednesday on Dynamite. If PAC wins tonight, it will be a ROH title match. All in all this was a fun opener that I won’t remember in two days, maybe not even two hours. 3/5
ROH Television Championship
Samoa Joe (c) vs Dalton Castle
Just two vets having a vet match, knowing how much they can do and what they can’t. Samoa Joe involves Stokely Hathaway, who is on commentary for the match, and Stokely gets involved by having the referee throw The Boys out from ringside. Only Jerry Lynn can override it but he’s probably backstage lecturing Jimmy Jacobs about Sound of Freedom. Joe wins not long after The Boys are ejected. Dubious circumstances! Good match where Dalton really seemed to have the better of Joe, who is going to intimidate Stokely into keeping his belt for a while, it seems. There’s a lot you can do to pay that off if you really run with it. 3/5
ROH Tag Team Championship
Lucha Bros (c) vs Aussie Open vs The Kingdom vs Best Friends
It’s the Ferrari to the tank when Fletcher tags Davis, so basically combined they are Husky Harris. Guess what this match is like, that’s right, it’s a bunch of fast-paced chaos with four teams! The people hate Taven and Bennett because they can’t recognize ROH’s best tag team even though it’s clearly obvious in this match. Best Friends are the clear crowd favorite. I am not part of the crowd in this case. Maria exposes her jugs to Chuck (not fully) in an attempt to get him to hug her, but he hugs Trent instead. I’m gonna be honest, I’d have gone to Maria there. And it’s not like it helps them win. He already let himself get distracted by her. Chuck is something of an idiot, honestly. Lucha Bros have it won, but Bennett pulls Penta off of Davis. HAIL MARY! PENTA KICKS AT TWO? Disgusting. Strong Zero and Fenix makes the save on the count, so Best Friends as usual have failed. Penta hits Trent with a chair or something! TAVEN HAS THE PIN! Davis saves. Goddamn it, come on. Clever blind tag to Fletcher, Aussie Open finish Trent off, and they are the new ROH tag champions. A hoot example of this sort of match, escalating madness until one team actually got the unit together with the 2-on-1. 4/5
ROH Six-Man Championship
Brian Cage & Gates of Agony (c) vs Leon Ruffin, Ryosuke Taguchi & Master Wato
I’m not gonna lie to you and nobody is paying me to be here or pay attention, in fact I paid $39.99 USD to make this decision for myself: I don’t care about this.
Here’s a cool song in the meantime:
Mogul Embassy retain in a stunner.
ROH Pure Championship
Katsuyori Shibata (c) vs Daniel Garcia
Alright, we’re back! Garcia declines the Code of Honor. The judges are back! It’s still Daniels, Jacobs, and Lynn. Garcia has to use a rope break about two minutes in. They note that Garcia generally really, even more than most, avoids using rope breaks, so Shibata forcing that early is big. Shibata gets whipped into the barricade outside, then Garcia goes back into the ring to mock him. Back outside, it’s Dan into the barricade, then again, then again. Running boot! Garcia should not have mocked Shibata. But Dan gets back into it and starts working on the arm, Ian Riccaboni theorizing that he wants to take away Shibata’s sleephold.
Shibata calling on the punishment eventually. And then one Shibata forearm, even with the bad arm, rocks Garcia, but Garcia takes advantage again immediately. Garcia earning comps to Whipper Billy Watson and Nick Bockwinkel tonight, but also busting out his good dance. He really luxuriates in the dance. Shibata just no-sells the whole thing and drops down to his ass, seated in the center of the ring, and Garcia dances his way down to sit face-to-face. And then Shibata explodes and he’s whuppin ass.
What makes this great, other than the fact they’re both great wrestlers, is we have Shibata bringing the dog out of Garcia, which is never fully gone, even the dance has dog in it, but here it’s more present than it has been in a while. We’re getting full mean streak Garcia now, because he has to go there against Shibata. 13+ minutes in we’ve still only seen one rope break used. And that is all we’ll see, as Shibata puts Garcia mostly to sleep, hits the PK, and retains. Mildly surprised by that. Tremendous match. Post-match, Shibata again offers the hand, Garcia gives him THE BIRD, and Shibata grabs it and forces the handshake, basically. These are two really strong-willed personalities, different enough to be compelling. I loved this. 4/5
Fight Without Honor
Dark Order vs Stu Grayson & The Righteous
Dark Order are Evil Uno, John Silver, and Alex Reynolds, of course. Stu Grayson used to be one of them but now he is under the spell of Bob Zombie and the Pretty Big Boss Man. Grayson and Uno trade shots early after the others spill out. Table early for Uno and Stu! Silver has a board and Dutch has a board that has barbed wire on it. Really all you gotta do is land first, though.
Dutch busted open quick from the barbed wire. Reynolds next. Silver brings thumbtacks into the match. He ends up in the tacks, though. Uno’s back with a chair. God this would probably be good if I cared about anyone in the match. A good portion of Uno’s head is exposed by “Vincent” as Grayson tries to use a chair as a broom on thumbtacks which is not very effective. Uno busted open big. Now I’m starting to care as they all just beat Uno’s ass. Uno’s good at that.
Yeah, I’m getting into this. I’m not deleting that previous line. I’m going with how this really played to me. Reynolds and Silver with some nice double team work on Dutch. Uno dumps some LEGO. And Uno is the one who hits the LEGO and tacks pile, power bombed by Dutch. Vincent hits a flying swanton onto a table on Silver, but he just bounces right off of him. Stu follows with a frog splash through the table. Another power bomb inside and Dutch gets two on Uno.
Next introduced is, in the words of Ian, “a GODDAMN TABLE with BARBED WIRE.” Up on the stage Reynolds knocks Dutch onto the goddamn table with barbed wire. Silver kicking Vincent in the chest and THEN THE FACE with a TACK BOOT. Oh my GOD.
Now there’s a ladder! A big ass fucken ladder! Uno laid out on two tables ringside and Stu sets up the ladder in the ring. During the climb Uno sneaks back in and GRAYSON IS PUSHED OFF THE LADDER THROUGH THE TABLES! Grayson gets destroyed back in the ring and this is over.
This shit stomped. Absolute barnburner. These lads brought the fuck out of it. 4.5/5
ROH World Championship
Claudio Castagnoli (c) vs PAC
The lads up first in the double main event! If Athena and Willow hit 80% of their March match, they’ll have earned it plenty. Claudio dominant early here. Really looks focused and annoyed by PAC in general, about as much as he is by Eddie Kingston’s, but PAC gets a shot in to the knee as they fight up on the entrance stage.
PAC takes over from there and hits a MONSTER super brainbuster. OH GOD CLAUDIO GORILLA PRESS HURLS PAC OVER THE TOP THROUGH A TABLE! Claudio raining down the elbows in the ring, sets for the Neutralizer, PAC gets out of that and hits an enzuigiri that Claudio sells as a shot that rocks him, doesn’t knock him down fully. Flipping flapjack, Neutralizer, PAC KICKS AT TWO! Caprice points out how PAC got his hands down to save himself from normal full impact.
And from there they continue to go all out. They had a couple days ahead of time to “build” a match, they did that as effectively as possible, and now they’re making everyone who spent the 40 happy they did, on top of a show that was already pretty great already. Claudio almost gets a Ricola Bomb from the middle rope, but there’s the Frankensteiner counter! Black Arrow misses! Claudio with the lariat! Ricola Bomb countered again, PAC has the Brutalizer! Claudio gets out, but PAC gets it right back, center of the ring, Claudio trying to use his long legs to reach and then THE RAW POWER!! Claudio back on his feet and gets to the second rope STILL IN THE HOLD! Air Raid Crash from the second rope!
The match is insane. Claudio winds up retaining. The match was great. These guys are tremendous opponents. 4.5/5
Wheeler’s out to celebrate with Claudio, then Lucha Bros, who were clearly more dickish earlier, are out to join PAC and sort of reform Death Triangle. And here come Best Friends, and then Orange Cassidy! PAC and Claudio both get nailed with the Orange Punch.
ROH World Women’s Championship
Athena (c) vs Willow Nightingale
Athena has cool wings for her entrance and then they BLEED. YEAH! Willow hammering with forearms early, using her speed, using Athena’s anger and aggression against her. Side Effect on the apron from Athena and then we get a great shot of Willow’s parents laughing at her.
POUNCE from Willow to cut off Athena’s dominance in the match. Two clotheslines from Willow. Athena gets it back, big old kneebuster deal that Willow reversed and won the match the week before in the Owen. Willow with another rally, Caprice talking about Willow adding killer instinct over the last four months or so.
Smashmouth gets two! Royal Butterfly for two! Willow tries a Doctor Bomb, Athena blocks and hits a heart punch, then the snapmare cutter deal for two. They’re doing lots of moves that women’s wrestlers from ROH history used to do, as they are headlining a $40 PPV for this division. Reverse DDT from Willow gets two. MsChif’s Obliteration! Athena with a sit-out power bomb for another two.
Super Spicolli Driver gets two for Willow. Someone do the Mandy Leon Driver! Or whatever Mandy Leon used to do. Willow THUDDED on the ground outside the ring, then whipped into the steps, and now we’re echoing March. O-Face attempt from Athena, AND IT HITS! And she OH FUCK WILLOW KICKS AT TWO!
Athena argues with the referee, but that gives Willow the chance. Doctor Bomb! TWO COUNT! Willow thinks on it and puts Athena up top. Oh Lord. Super Doctor Bomb attempt. Athena fighting out and drops Willow with a vicious forearm! O-FACE AGAIN! Athena does not pin, she goes to the crossface, and Willow can’t survive this. She just can’t. WAIT SHE ROLLS BACK! For two. Athena maneuvering around to prevent Willow from getting the ropes. Willow trying to turn, trying to crawl, but Athena won’t let go. And Willow gets trapped center ring. It’s over. An exchange of Respect, but I think Athena beat her up again at the end of it when they were cutting the signal.
For me, the fan service run of big offense was a hair goofy, but they pulled it back so hard in the end, and this really was about more than the match, it was about women’s wrestling — something that historically ROH was far slower to accept and truly feature as more than web exclusives than they should have been — headlining a ROH PPV, even if it was a double main event, the last match is the last match, and they deserved the shot and fully earned it.
I do wish just one out of 15 times or so we could actually just do the feelgood moment instead of yet again subverting the expectation that that’s what will happen. This is its own expectation now. But a great match. I think the March match was a little better, but this had the bigger emotion if you are of a WWE-ish mindset, which I don’t mean as a knock, people try new shows and new companies all the time, they come from all over, many of them are people who have only watched WWE. And I’m just too old to sit here going on forever about the booking. I said what I had to say. I still had a great time watching the match, and they will go from here. 4.5/5
IN CONCLUSION
This show was not as good as you could have realistically hoped, it was drastically better than you could have realistically hoped. The first half was good, the second half just exploded into one of the pure best PPVs or “PLEs” there will be all year.
Tape Machines Are Rolling 