WWE Money in the Bank, London, England
The Bloodline Saga is not the pinnacle of wrestling storytelling for me. For a person like me, it has had its ups and downs. There’s a lot I’ve really loved about it, though, even if it grates my sensibilities a little bit, in part because it’s just not exactly what I most want out of wrestling, as a person aging out of being very important at all as a “consumer.”
So what I’ve tried to do in recent months especially, with the stakes and tension ramped up, is think of it as a WWE version of — and man, I don’t mean to do a “cinema” thing here — something like the 1956 film Giant, or the 1958 film The Big Country. These big, sweeping Hollywood epics. Flawed. Rambling and at times a little repetitive in simply filling time. Wildly melodramatic. And I am drawn to their grandiose vision, to the scale of what everyone was trying to achieve.
For wrestling, it’s all come about as close to achieving that vision as anything’s gonna. What they’ve done, I think, is take fanfiction-type ideas and distilled them into something that can actually be put on TV, without requiring an accompanying reference book. (So like Bray Wyatt’s last couple runs of horseshit but less fucking stupid.)
Family drama with a couple of loyal outsiders (Heyman and, for a time, Zayn) and a revolving cast of rivals trying to take down an empire. And now we are at the family’s Civil War, an implosion from within.
(Requests open and tips always appreciated!)
One major problem I have had with the entire presentation — and I’ll leave the horrible acting alone, it is wrestling, what am I supposed to expect here? — is simply in how Reigns is talked about on commentary and in things like getting that new belt presented to him, where they talk about this constant cheat heel champion like he’s Sammartino or Morales or Backlund or Hogan or Hart, always winning on the up-and-up, overcoming the odds. His supposed dominance has been smoke-and-mirrors, largely preserved by those surrounding him, but Michael Cole and Wade Barrett and Paul Creative Officer will act like he’s truly been dominant. He has not been. He has been a shaky mob boss retaining power through intimidation and influence and the misplaced loyalty of some key soldiers.
I just don’t think you need to have the commentators especially ignore the realities; it’s kind of a better story if they don’t, but Hunter Hearst and Co. see things differently, I suppose. In-match, they don’t always do this, and that actually kinda makes it worse.
It cannot be overstated how much cooler this entrance (the same style from Backlash) looks than the normal GIANT STAGE OF BIG FUCKING SCREENS TO MAKE THE WRESTLERS LOOK SMALL AND INSIGNIFICANT.
Cole lays out that on top of being champion for a jillion days, Roman has not been pinned or submitted since December 2019. After the Acting introductions, we get a “Fuck you, Roman” chant that Cole and Wade don’t acknowledge, but they do have the good sense to fall out and let you hear it.
Starting with Jimmy and Solo, aka The Other Ones. Cole going into some ass relaxed casual call of Solo’s personality type, like Ernie Harwell in the fourth inning of a June day game. Solo is stronger than Jimmy. Jey gets a shot in from the apron.
Jey gets the tag, Usos double up for a moment. Jey calls Solo on for the fight, Solo’s ready to approach, and Roman shouts at him from the apron to stop, then demands the tag. Solo a little reluctant and annoyed but after Acting about it, he makes the tag.
Talking, acting, talking, acting, talking, acting.
Jey strips off pads and his shirt, Roman adjusts his Power Glove, and they lock up. Roman cranks a side headlock, off the ropes, runs Jey over with a shoulder. Talking, acting. Roman in control. Jimmy gets a quick tag and they try the double superkick, but way too early to catch him there, and Reigns easily gets out to the floor to talk to Solo and that dipshit who was crying on Smackdown.
Eventually, the match threatens to resume with Roman and Jey, and after Heyman got into his head about his sons sitting at Jey Uso’s table! They can call this dude Dan Engler all they want but that is TNA Senior Official Rudy Charles and I will never call him fuck all else. I know it’s his Christian name given to him in the eyes of God but all I care about is the name given to him in the eyes of Jeff Jarrett.
Redshoes Roman continues to dominate Jey. Solo gets a lil’ chinlock in as Roman distracts Rudy. Then Solo gets an actual tag in. NERVE. HOLD.
Jimmy in but he gets drilled by a Solo forearm, treated as a serious KO shot. Someone watched Forbidden Door, baby, yeah! We love to see all the lads influencing one another.
Crowd singing, “If you hate Roman, stand up!” This annoys Reigns and Solo goes even slower to follow up with anything so that they can sing a while. Then they cheer for themselves. Then they sing the same thing again. Solo just kinda stands around, mostly.
Finally, Solo smashes Jimmy’s face with his ass. He calls that The Rear View. Meanwhile, Cole and Wade argue about John Cena. Out of things they talk about, they pause for a moment, then pick up the video game narrative.
Roman tags but drops down to the floor, so that he can hit the Drive-By on a reeling Jimmy. Back in, Reigns with a big foot, aggressive cover, two count. Tag to Solo. Cole now talking about Roman being “bailed out” by the Bloodline over the years when he “makes the rare mistake.” It’s not that rare.
Solo tags in. NERVE. HOLD. Barrett breaks down the nerve hold and Cole references Gorilla Monsoon so now I like them both and think they’re doing an excellent job.
Tag back to Roman, he’s trying to keep Jimmy from tagging, fails, and then Solo is over there to knock Jey off the apron, meaning no tag can be made just as Jimmy was getting there. Reigns distracting Rudy again and Solo clotheslines Jimmy out on the floor.
Jimmy back in, down, and Reigns is set for his Power Glove Punch. Jimmy ducks, clotheslines Roman and himself out to the floor.
Both back in and it’s double tags. Cole really leaning on “Main Event Jey Uso” suddenly, and wouldn’t you know it, but Jey is on the Usos’ first sustained run of offense in the match. Flying crossbody gets two.
More standing around. That’s a lot of this match. I’ll get to talking about it, hang with me. Jey hits Solo in the face with his ass. He calls that The Rear View. He tries to do it again, but Solo gets up and tries a Samoan Drop, blind tag to Roman when it fails, and Jey saw it and knocks Roman out of the ring, then hits a tope suicida. One on the other side of the ring for Solo.
It’s as if when they started saying “Main Event Jey Uso” on commentary, he suddenly started wrestling like you really need to believe in him as a true main eventer, perhaps for a big show soon.
Jey tries another tope on Roman, but he’s hit with a shitty Power Glove Punch. Back in and a better one because it’s normal. Acting, grunting. Roman sets for the spear, but the Usos hit him with a double spear as Jimmy makes a tag, and Solo saves the pin.
Now everyone gets to take a lil’ nap so that they can slowly get up next to each other and look at each other and boy I hope they do some talking. YEAH! TALKING! But not too much, and it’s time to fight!
Solo and Jey spill out to the floor, legal men Jimmy and Roman stay in. Trading big right hands. Jimmy misses a kick, Power Glove Punch! Boy that thing is becoming a Young Buck Superkick. Two count.
Talking. Spear run is met with a superkick, then a second. Roman’s out! Jimmy going up top. Will he become Main Event Jimmy Uso? Absolutely not, his splash is caught with a guillotine. Jimmy passing out, but his arm does not drop. Jimmy powering through this to break, drives Roman into the corner. Jey makes a blind tag, but Roman hits him.
Rudy then starts creaming, “Jey’s legal! That was a tag! Jey’s legal!” Brother, a blind tag would never work if the referees always ran around shouting about it. But that’s just so they know he’s in position for his ref bump. You see, I know ……… the secrets.
Rudy takes a real actual painful looking spill through the ropes to the floor. 3D! I’m not calling it “1D,” sorry. No ref, though. They show a replay of the 3D and boy does it not look good. I would not have done that replay.
Usos up on opposite corners, but Solo cuts off Curtain Jerkin’ Jimmy and catches Main Event Jey in a stronghold. Double uranages from Roman and Solo. Spike on Jimmy! Combo spike/spear on Jimmy. Rudy’s stirring.
As promised, the Usos are stacked for Roman to get a pin. They both kick out, and the crowd explodes. Roman acts. Solo stares into the distance, even though it all happened with him not looking at it. He knows.
Now Reigns is going to cry. And talk. Heyman about to cry. Solo has little emotion. So he just punches Jey in the head a bunch and encourages Reigns to get the fuck out of his feelings. Jimmy taken out to the floor by Solo, where Solo splashes through the desk from the barricade, Jimmy moving out of the way. Cole reenters puberty.
In the ring, Jey’s back up, they trade big shots, a Roman spear gets two. Another good pop there. Now Roman’s going to cry again, and Solo isn’t around to calm his nerves.
The replay shows us that Jey delivered a low blow as he kicked out. So that’s why he’s down there reacting, it’s about his nards! Usos deliver a bunch of superkicks. Solo gets one, too. Jey up top. Big splash! Three count.
Roman Reigns has been pinned by Jey Uso. Clean as a sheet. Other than the low blow but that’s life.
Jimmy almost can’t believe it. Jey can. Heyman can’t. Sikoa’s on the floor, just hangin’ around.
Alright, let’s rock talk.
- It’s very good.
- I have a love/hate thing with the fact that Bloodline matches outside of Solo singles matches, especially those involving Roman, are worked in a very different pace and style to anyone else on the show. On the one hand, thank God someone is actually working differently in this company. Everyone else is basically the same outside of signature maneuvers. On the other, the differences are heavily reliant on talking, standing, looking around, padding time. It doesn’t ruin anything for me, but it does bug me a little.
- Setting up a Roman vs Jey re-run is good, I think. I still just can’t imagine Jey Uso ending this reign, but in terms of the story, it would be a fan service, fan friendly thing to do. I don’t personally buy as that dude, but I’m also not really “buying” at all. I have Peacock for Premier League and I don’t purchase any of their bad t-shirts or whatever, so I’m not the target.
- Whatever criticisms and quibbles aside, that’s my process with things, if that makes sense. I have to get that out. And then I talk to myself, much like a Bloodline member, and I see how I think it actually works or doesn’t. There are flaws. It is not impeccable writing or performance or whatever. But the effort is so big, so bold and grand, that I generally come around to thinking it’s good stuff.
I really liked the Reigns/Sikoa interaction, there’s a lot go work with from here in that relationship. They already crossed the line on Roman and the Usos, now there’s the Solo question. He did everything to support, bolster, and save Roman that he could in this match. In the end, Reigns lost, and it’s been made clear that any failure or shortcoming is nearly unforgivable with this group dynamic, and forgiveness comes at the price of really humbling yourself to the others.
Even before I thought of the “hothouse flower” Junior reaction, I thought of how Reigns has a sort of petulance, and it goes back to the “shaky mob boss” thing; if you told me Reigns spent a lot of time watching “The Sopranos” and seeing the way Gandolfini flipped his emotions and had that sort of childish quality to Tony’s outbursts, I would not be at all surprised.
Boy, for a guy who doesn’t vibe with the “cinema” stuff, I sure am comparing this to a couple of movies I really like, my favorite TV show, and my favorite performance in the history of film or television.
Tape Machines Are Rolling 