WWE Royal Rumble, Phoenix, AZ
A request! Ron is defending her WWE Raw women’s championship against the perennial contender Sasha Banks at Chase Field in Phoenix at the ROOOOOYAL RUMBLLLLE.
Commentary is Michael Cole, Corey Graves, and Renee Young. I do think commentary is what Renee Young is worst at, but I don’t think she’s awful, and any sort of flaws she does have — she’s admitted she doesn’t love doing it and thinks she’s not great, I’m not trying to pick on anyone here — are sort of overcome by her being incredibly likable. But she is definitely better at other stuff. She’s a brilliant studio host, a tremendous interviewer; she is, as I’ve said many times now, the closest we’ve had in the modern era to Mean Gene Okerlund, who was also at his worst doing match commentary.
Rousey and Banks get in in each others faces during the in-ring challenger/champion intros, but nothing pops off physically. Bell sounds, and they’re still talking that shit.
Should be noted this is also the one and only Rousey-Banks singles match. Some reversal/counter stuff to start, some mocking. Sensitive Ron shouting, “You guys think I can’t wrestle!?! I’ll show you some wrestling!” Then she does! She goes for the Three Amigos on Sasha, which gets a reaction from the crowd, but Banks blocks the third suplex and hits a backstabber, kinda (it looks like ass). Rousey goes for an armbar and Banks gets the ropes.
Fight goes outside and Rousey forearms the ring post, knocking the LED graphics out. The way they fake Rousey knocking the graphics out is so corny Michael Cole refuses to acknowledge it happened, you love to see it. Banks hits a dive and then they roll back inside.
The armbar, Cole says, is not only dangerous in WWE but in Combat Sports In General. Anyway, Banks is in control here, hitting a running knee in the corner, and with Rousey seated, another double knee.
Rousey selling the arm big from that post bit. She runs into a boot in the corner — Rousey runs weird — but Ronda comes back with a running elbow shot, which doesn’t look great but is potentially cool. She could’ve done that more but I guess maybe it’s too similar to the Superman punch, like how they thought Cyclops and Gambit’s abilities would look too similar on screen so Gambit wasn’t in the X-Men movies.
Banks with a totally unnecessary springboarding flourish on an arm attack. Banks bonks her knees on the second turnbuckle and Rousey does a roll bit to pick Banks up, going for Piper’s Pit, and Sasha counters with an armbar. All the grapplefuck stuff here is definitely less silky smooth than the Graps God Ian Rotten usually was.
Rousey manages to roll over, but Banks gets the Bank Statement now. Rousey gets out of that and does hit Piper’s Pit, but she’s still selling the arm big. Rousey with a weird headscissors choke over the ropes, hanging there like the Tarantula for a moment. Banks comes back with a superplex from the second rope, getting a two count.
Banks back to the arm, but Rousey powers off the canvas and takes Banks over with an unorthodox judo throw, which looks dope. Rousey ragdolling Sasha by the wrist now, then goes for the armbar, but Banks knocks her out of the ring. Both selling now, taking a quick breather.
Rousey catches Banks on a bad idea dive and gets the armbar outside but you can’t get a submission on the floor, Ron, read the rule book. Back in and they start brawling a bit, which Rousey wins, and hits a cool high knee strike for two. But Banks drops Rousey face-first into the bottom turnbuckle, then drives down a double stomp on the bad arm.
Banks goes for the backstabber, Rousey slams her down but can’t get the armbar. Another Piper’s Pit attempt from Rousey, but Banks spins into a pin for two, and has the Bank Statement! Banks can’t get Ronda to tap there, so she switches to a Fujiwara armbar. Rousey with big facial selling, but she counters nicely and lifts Banks into a hard gutwrench slam.
Rousey rolls through again, Piper’s Pit hits, and that gets the win. It’s a good finish in terms of what Rousey does but it still comes off a bit flat somehow.
This is a good match, but for Rousey matches I’d still take the Survivor Series ’18 match with Charlotte Flair over this, and maybe one of the Nia Jax matches, too. There is something a little absurd about Banks grappling with Rousey, even though I try to turn that part of my brain off, and even though they set up the arm work with Rousey forearming the post and all that, meaning what allowed for it to logically happen was due to her own mistake. But I feel like there could’ve been a better energy here. Rousey was always sort of clunky in the ring, which I don’t actually mind, she had her own style that didn’t conform fully to the slick and sleek and homogenized WWE style that basically everyone uses with a handful of flourishes that make it “their own.” Anyway, again, it’s a good match, and it doesn’t drag on forever; actually it never drags at all, the pace is really nice.
Tape Machines Are Rolling 
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