WWE Smackdown, Ontario, CA
That’s California, by the way. There’s a city there called Ontario. I’m not just lazy about Canada. This is a request! It’s falls count anywhere.
Nattie and Nikki were in quite the bitter little feud here. In a promo earlier in the show, Natalya bashes Nikki’s “silicone insincerity,” which, uh, and says Bella was generated in a lab to produce Instagram likes. Nikki, in a different promo, tells Renee Young that she’ll prove to Natalya she’s more than a pretty face. FUCK this show has Mauro Ranallo. Actually this is that period where they had Mauro AND Tom Phillips AND David Otunga AND JBL.
Natalya gets tackled down and Nikki takes it to her right away, so Nattie retreats. Bella hits a facebuster over the knee, which is a very cool move, for a two count, then heads outside and gets a table from under the ring. Natalya awkwardly slides over to kick at Nikki from the ring, instead of just baseball sliding into her. Bella gets a rollup for two. You can feel the SEETHING CAULDRON OF ENMITY with that rollup attempt.
But it allows Bella to pull a kendo stick out from the ring and wear Natalya out with four shots, first to the stomach, then back, then two to the legs. That gets another two count on the floor.
Off to the crowd, or should I say, THE WWE UNIVERSE??? No. I do not work there, and I don’t have to call them “Superstars,” either.
Mauro: “John, they’re taking it to the WWE Universe!”
JBL: “This could go anywhere. I was hoping they were gonna use you as a weapon. Hit the other person with one of your ridiculous puns.”
Nattie “u cant c mes” Nikki, then throws her into some area with boxes and does her famous “yaaaaaaaahhhh.” taunt, which I love. Natalya sets for a superplex off the barricade to the concrete, but that is very obviously not happening and Natalya takes a small fall to the floor instead, following up with a roundhouse kick. That gets two and they run it back to ringside, but Nattie shoves Nikki into the barricade and does a lot more of her Very Vocal Acting, which is of course Good. Someone told her it is, or they just never told her it isn’t.
Bella sent into the steps for two. Nattie clears off the commentary desk, but Bella slows her down with three “Nikkisawa” forearms, which is one of those things Mauro liked to say in hopes it would make internet fans like him more. “He’s just like us!”
Natalya wants a power bomb through the table but Nikki fights that off. It’s not a big flashy thing but ALL of Nikki’s strikes had gotten solid. These are some good looking short punches she throws there.
Nikki hits an Alabama Slam on the table and pins her up there, getting two. Imagine going through the last years of Nikki Bella’s career still steaming mad about her because she wasn’t good in 2008. What a waste. I’ve seen a lot of wrestlers who weren’t very good in their first few years, man. And a lot of them never got as good as Bella did.
After a break, we return to, guess what, they’re in a hold in the ring. I kid you not, my friends! It’s a Sharpshooter at least so the people in the live audience had reason to believe it mattered. They head back out to the floor pretty much immediately once the show is live, and suplays Nikki on the ramp for two.
Off to the area off to the side of the entrance set! Nikki tossed into a box. “That’s because I’m the greateeeeest!” Natalya shouts in her dead, passionless voice, and then covers for two. Now we’re going backstage! Maryse gets run over when Natalya whips Nikki toward some curtains. Nikki comes back and smashes Nattie’s head through a mirror on a table but it’s 2017 WWE so nobody’s bleeding, amazingly. I’ve accidentally cut my foot on a chair leg while sitting but hey. That also gets a two count. Rudy Charles doing his best to Emote here.
Back out to the WWE Universe!!!!!! Except not, they’re not in the crowd. Spear from Bella on the entrance stage gets two. Nikki gets the Fearless Lock on Nattie, but then an enraged Maryse attacks with a pipe until Miz runs in. That leads to the pin as Miz drags Maryse out kicking and screaming, the damage done.
This match is still very fun! Nikki was awesome and Nattie more than holds her own. It set up the Cena/Nikki vs Miz/Maryse match at WrestleMania 33, which I went to live and I used that time to go spend my last $12 on a bottle of water. I wasn’t trying to be all insulting about it, I just really wanted a water and I was roughly 45 miles from the ring anyway so whatever. During that trip to and from concessions I literally almost walked into Toni Storm and Jinny. But this isn’t about my incredible life experiences, it’s about this match, which, as I said, is still very fun! It does not have a clean finish, though, so clean finish needers, buckle up to get FUMING.
Tape Machines Are Rolling 
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