Tape Machines has come to Substack

Join me over at Substack for a NEW spin on my wrestling writing, mostly current wrestling but a little more, too!

What you’ll be getting over there:

• Weekly TV reviews for WWE Monday Night Raw, AEW Dynamite, WWE Smackdown, and AEW Collision. Raw and Dynamite will pretty much always be up just after the shows end. Smackdown and Collision may often delay by a day or so, but not too long. One show per week will be offered free for everyone, but not the same show every week, so if you’re a real Monday Night Raw fanatic or whatever, you won’t get away with simply never ponying up any of sweet cash for your one thing you care about.
• WWE and AEW pay-per-view/PLE reviews for ALLLL the big shows. These will usually delay a day or two if they take place on Saturdays, but Sunday shows will be up night of, same as Raw or Dynamite. (This is just my real life work schedule dictating timing.)
• A monthly review of an old pay-per-view or major event, could be from any promotion, will drop when it drops, basically when I have the available time. Could be mid-week, weekend, whatever, but it’ll be there for subscribers.
• A bi-weekly feature on SOMETHING, not sure what these will be, they’ll vary, but there will be two of them a month. Could be little review collections on certain wrestlers, could be thought-thinker guru stuff, I really don’t know.

The first post on tonight’s AEW Dynamite is up! It’s free for all! Come subscribe today!

Randy Savage vs Doink (WWF, 8-2-1993)

WWF Monday Night Raw, Alexandria Bay, NY

A request! A week prior on Raw, Doink challenged commentator Macho Man to a match, and there were TWO OTHER DOINKS on site! Three Doinks! Now we’re at the Bonnie Castle Recreation Center in Alexandria Bay, this is big time wrestling. (It’s actually a cool little venue that doesn’t look like every goddamn arena does now.)

(Requests open and tips always appreciated!)

Claudio Castagnoli vs Brodie Lee (Chikara, 9-7-2008)

Chikara Style and Substance, Philadelphia, PA

A request! Brodie Lee had been going around kicking people in Chikara, and then Claudio Castagnoli was, like, “Hey, why don’t you try to kick someone who is also tall, instead of someone who is short?”

They had a couple matches where they each won via disqualification, so they had a no DQ match. Mitch Ryder got involved, fireballing Claudio and helping Brodie win that one. So NOW, it’s time for THE STEEL CAGE! It’s the first-ever Chikara cage match.

(Requests open and tips always appreciated!)

AEW Dynasty (4-21-2024)

LIVE from St. Louis, it’s AEW Dynasty! You only get so many chances to watch a first-ever wrestling event. One, really. If you’re alive and stuff.

Let’s go! SPOILER: Arguably the greatest match on American soil ever happened on this show, and Chris Jericho has done it again!!

(Requests open and tips always appreciated!)

WWE Smackdown (4-19-2024)

A request! This was LIVE from Pittsburgh. Just under 15,000 in the house. “The product” is receipts-hot, folks, there’s no getting around it.

But is it good? That is what has been asked of me, in my opinion. If I wind up saying “no” it’s OK if you disagree. Not if I say “yes,” though. If I say yes and you disagree, it is you who is very wrong.

(Requests open and tips always appreciated!)

Dustin Rhodes vs Bunkhouse Buck (WCW, 4-17-1994)

WCW Spring Stampede, Rosemont, IL

A request! As the request noted, just this week we passed the 30th anniversary of this show, which was a hell of a good show, WCW really firing artistically before Hulk Hogan comes in to ruin everything.

This is a Bunkhouse Match. Buck’s pretty new to WCW, managed by Col. Parker. A-WELL THEY CALL HIM THE NATURAL

(Requests open and tips always appreciated!)

The Bushwhackers vs Johnny Blade & Joseph White (WWF, 3-30-1996)

WWF Superstars, Corpus Christi, TX

A request! The Bushwhackers are BACK in the World Wrestling Federation! Why? I don’t know! They were one of the last of the “old” acts still working with the WWF once the “New Generation” kicked into gear, but at this point they’ve been gone since Sept. ’95, working a bit in Memphis between WWF stints. Apparently they were cut because of cutbacks, which makes sense because the company was doing shit business.

But it’s clear Vince loved these goofy sons of bitches, and they were good to stick on a house show still because of how they wrestled. But this is the bright lights of syndicated TV in Corpus Christi.

(Requests open and tips always appreciated!)

Gunther vs The Miz (WWE, 12-18-2023)

WWE Monday Night Raw, Des Moines, IA

A request! A two-packer with the Survivor Series match between these two. I remember this one more, it was around the holidays, I was watching a bit more at the moment, and I recall absolutely loving this match, thinking it was even better than the one in November, which is the general consensus because it’s, like, true.

But I also just really loved that Survivor Series match, so now I’m fired up to see if that holds.

(Requests open and tips always appreciated!)

Gunther vs The Miz (WWE, 11-25-2023)

WWE Survivor Series: War Games, Rosemont, IL

A request! Gunther is defending his cherished Intercontinental title here in “Chicago,” the longest-reigning champion in history against the legendary (it’s true, stop bitching at me) eight-time Intercontinental champion Real World Mike.

As much as I thought the record should have always stayed Honky Tonk Man’s just because this was so incredibly weird and dumb to be a true fact, I wound up loving Gunther’s reign. I mean I wasn’t watching constantly, but I’d often catch Gunther matches because he rules. He really made it something more than just “has held title a long time,” which is often what happens when a long title reign is hyped.

(Requests open and tips always appreciated!)

Ultimo Dragon vs Yuji Nagata (WCW, 10-26-1997)

WCW Halloween Havoc, Paradise, NV

A request! These two get the opening slot at Slim Jim’s Halloween Havoc, headlined by Hogan and Piper in the cage.

Nagata has the eternally useless Sonny Onoo in his corner. Nagata is a young man in the game still. Dragon used to be managed by Onoo.

(Requests open and tips always appreciated!)